


The Fight of Your Life

by GeorginaKane



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Abuse, Gay Bashing, Homophobic Language, M/M, Mixed Martial Arts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-27
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-11 12:16:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4435154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeorginaKane/pseuds/GeorginaKane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey Milkovich is a championship MMA fighter from the Southside of Chicago. He met Ian Gallagher when he was 13 and they grew up as best friends and then lovers. Their relationship is a secret from almost everyone including Mickey's father who is also his manager. As Mickey's career grows, so do the challenges that the boys face in their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a multi-chapter fic... enjoy!

 

Chapter 1

 

 

_One. Two. Three. Four._

_Breathe……_

_One. Two. Three. Four._

_Step…. Jab…. Step…. Jab_

The rhythm consumes Mickey.

 

_One. Two. Three. Four._

It’s almost like slow motion, as he moves his body to the left and then to the right. He bounces off the balls of his feet, dancing a choreographed ballet of sweat, muscle and tempo.

 

“C’mon Mickey! Left!.... Right!...Right!... Hook!.... C’mon! Hit like you mean it!” Ian yells.

 

Mickey circles Ian in the boxing ring, both of them sweating profusely. Mickey has a look of determination on his face, eyes focused, hands up, ready to attack. Ian moves in and out of his space, hand pads held firmly in front of his chest.

 

“Jab, Jab, hook! Cmon!”

 

Mickey continues to hit the pads with full force, never once breaking his concentration. He flows swiftly in and out of Ian’s space, ducking, turning and weaving. It’s almost beautiful to watch, as they sway together in perfectly timed movements.

 

The moment is cut short when Iggy yells from across the gym.

 

“Yo, Mickey. Those ESPN guys are here!”

 

Mickey stops and looks up at Ian as he drops his pads and helps Mickey out of his gloves.

 

“You looked good today Mick. You looked focused,” Ian says.

 

“Yeah well, don’t get used to it. My body feels like fucking jello,” Mickey complains with a giant smirk on his face.

 

“Oh, poor baby. I’ll have to give you an extra special rubdown later,” Ian jokes in a hushed tone.

 

“You better,” he mutters.

 

Once he’s free from his gloves, Mickey makes his way out of the ring and over to his gym bag. He gulps half a bottle of water, pouring the rest over his head. He shakes his head like a dog, much to the delight of his boyfriend.

 

They try to not make their blatant attraction obvious, but sometimes they can’t help themselves. Currently the only people who know about their relationship are Mickey’s siblings Iggy and Mandy. Mandy found out first, four years ago when Mickey was 19, having accidentally walked in on the boys during a particularly heated make out session. Well, technically they _were_ working out…

 

Iggy found out the hard way a year after that, when he went to the gym late one night. He had forgotten his house keys in his locker but when he walked in, he couldn’t believe his eyes. Ian had Mickey bent over the desk in the office, pounding him into oblivion. They weren’t exactly being quiet either.

 

Iggy confronted his brother the next day. At first Mickey was scared but once he realized that Iggy didn’t care who he banged, he relaxed. He told his brother how he and Ian first starting hooking up when he was 16. At the time, that meant they had been sneaking around for four years. Iggy was a little pissed that Mickey hid it from him for so long but he understood why… Terry.

 

Terry had always been into boxing and generally anything that had to do with violence, but when he noticed Mickey’s natural talent for the beat down, it was over.

 

Mickey was always one to get in on a fight. He loved the adrenaline that came with it and he was never one to back down. So when his father suggested MMA, Mickey jumped all over it.

 

He was 13 when he first started training. Mickey was small but he had strong legs and quick reflexes. He loved being in the ring, grappling, wrestling or just kicking the shit out of someone. He felt alive and powerful, something that was almost impossible to feel in the Milkovich household.

 

Mickey’s training didn’t stop his father from wailing on him whenever he felt like it. No matter how powerful Mickey felt in the ring, he always felt small and weak against his father. But he would rather have his dad hit him than any of his siblings. That’s why he felt the need to always protect Ian.

 

_They started out as friends._

_The first time Mickey went to the gym, he saw Ian and instantly felt drawn to him. He was a tiny little thing, barely 5’4”, but he could throw a punch that would put most teenagers on their ass. Not bad for a 12 year old._

_Ian on the other hand was completely infatuated with Mickey from day one._

_Every time they saw each other, Ian would get nervous and lose focus. His workouts were suffering so he decided enough was enough. The next time he saw Mickey, he stopped what he was doing and watched him. He saw how Mickey would pummel the shit out of the punching bag, relentlessly, for what seemed like hours._

_Feeling brave, he figured that was the day to talk to him. As he made his way over, he noticed an older man with a grim face approach the boy. He grabbed Mickey by the neck and yelled something into his ear. Ian couldn’t hear it but whatever it was must have been bad, if Mickey’s reaction was anything to go by. Maybe tomorrow, he thought._

_Tomorrow turned into months. Months of staring at each other, making awkward glances and generally not having the balls to talk to each other. After almost a year of training at the same gym, Ian finally managed to go and talk to Mickey._

_The raven haired boy was on a large blue mat, with his legs around another boy’s waist, his hands holding on to the kids arm, ready to break it if the kid didn’t submit._

_Finally the kid tapped out and Mickey stood up, making his way to his gym bag. He stopped when he saw Ian staring at him. He noticed that after a year, Ian had started to fill out. His abs were strong and his arms were starting to show definition. He was fucking beautiful, Mickey thought._

_“Hey,” Ian said quietly._

_“Um yeah, hi,” Mickey replied awkwardly._

_“You looked really good there,” Ian squeaked but then realized what that statement sounded like and immediately back tracked as he noticed Mickey’s expression._

_“No, I just meant your…your technique is good, yeah,” he stammered._

_Mickey just smiles and Ian melts a little._

_‘Uh, thanks,” Mickey muttered._

_This is going great! Ian thought._

_“I’m Ian,” he said shyly._

_“Mickey,” the other boy replied._

_Ian was about to speak again but Mickey’s father came over and broke their spell._

_“What the fuck are you doing? You’re here to train not chit chat. Now get back over there!” he yelled as he grabbed Mickey’s arm._

_Mickey gave Ian apologetic eyes before making his way back to the mat. Terry looked Ian up and down before giving him a disgusted look as he walked away._

_A few months after that, Ian  got another chance to talk to Mickey when he noticed his father wasn't around._

_"Hey Mickey," Ian said as he walked up to the blue training mat._

_Mickey looked up and smiled. "Hey Gingerbread"_

_Ian smirked at the nickname and sat next to Mickey, stretching out his legs._

_"I don't see your dad, is he working?"_

_Mickey couldn't help but laugh at that. Terry Milkovich with a respectable job was crazier than red headed aliens.... with the freckles._

_"Uh, no, he's locked up, 18 months this time," Mickey answered._

_Ian's face fell a little. "Oh, sorry," he whispered._

_"Don't worry about it, at least I can train in peace," Mickey stated as he stood up._

_He looked at Ian and then back at the floor._

_"Um, the kid that normally trains with me, moved or died or some shit. You uh, you wanna..." Mickey motioned to the mat._

_Ian grinned wide as he stood up and followed Mickey_ _._

 

“C’mon Mick, you don’t want to make ESPN wait,” Ian smirks while holding out a towel for him.

 

Mickey smiles and runs the towel all over his face and body, wiping away the days sweat. They both walk toward Iggy who is standing next to a camera crew, but before they get too far, Mickey stops Ian and holds him back.

 

“What if I fuck this up?” Mickey asks nervously.

 

Ian just smiles and whispers in his ear, “You’ll be fine Mick. You were made for this.”

 

Mickey chews on his thumb before making his way toward his brother again. Ian hangs back behind the crew. Being on camera was never his thing. He was just happy for Mickey. Now at 23, Mickey was getting his first real shot at a big fight with a really good opponent. It will be his first televised fight, hence the ESPN crew coming over to interview him.

 

“Hey, how’s he doing?” Iggy asks Ian quietly, mindful of the other people around them.

 

“He’s doing good Iggs,” Ian replies proudly, “He’s ready.”

 

He is ready… for the fight of his life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting out with their relationship history before coming back to the present day stuff. Enjoy!1

Chapter 2

 

Mickey was 16 the first time he and Ian had sex. They had been training together for almost 2 years. After such a long time working out together, they realized their feelings for each other went beyond friendship.

At first it was just longing glances and touches that lasted a little too long. Then it was harmless flirting and horsing around; any excuse to touch each other. Mickey didn’t realize he had developed feelings for Ian until his dad was released from prison and started to accompany him to his workouts again.

Mickey felt angry and bitter. He felt like he could no longer be near Ian and realized that he missed him. He decided to take matters into his own hands. After a workout, while his father was outside smoking, he went up to Ian and asked if he wanted to train together outside of the gym. He suggested running, which the red head immediately agreed to.

It was during one of those runs that Ian made his feelings clear. As they rounded a corner on their third mile, the red head yanked Mickey into an alley. Mickey didn’t know what was happening until the younger boys lips were on his. Instinctively Mickey pushed Ian away. He was breathing heavy from the run and caught completely off guard. Ian started to apologize when Mickey grabbed him by the shirt, pulled him closer and crashed their lips together.

It was all downhill from there.

The runs turned into long make out sessions with heavy groping. They were both careful not to leave marks on each other but giving hickeys was easily one of Ian’s favorite things to do. He just had to get creative about their placement.

One night, however, everything changed. Terry was on a drunken rampage, demolishing everything and everyone in sight. Per usual, Mickey took the brunt of the abuse, determined to spare his siblings as much pain as possible. He had a black eye, a nasty cut on his cheek and bruised up ribs.

He sent a text to the red head, letting him know that he wasn’t going to be able to meet for their run the next morning.

**Ian 10:48pm – something wrong??**

**Mickey 10:49pm – no just not up for it**

**Ian 10:51pm – you sick??**

Mickey just rolled his eyes. Damn this kid!

**Mickey 10:54pm – no**

**Ian 10:55pm – then what??**

**Mickey 10:58pm – fuck!!! stop with the ???**

**Ian 11:00pm – sorry**

Great, now Mickey felt bad.

**Mickey 11:02pm – s’ok… later**

The next day Mickey reluctantly went to his training session. Even though he was in a lot of pain, his father reminded him that pain was for pussies and to man up.

The main reason he didn’t want to go, however, had nothing to do with the pain he was in. He didn’t want Ian to see him. The last thing he wanted to do was explain what happened. The first half hour, he was surprised because Ian was nowhere to be found. He tried to focus on his workout, a task that was made increasingly difficult every time his ribs got hit.

But when he saw Ian walk in, it was like the pain melted away. Ian immediately stopped and looked at Mickey, taking in his injuries. He then looked over to Mickey’s father and noticed his bruised knuckles. The look on Ian’s face was one of pure anger.

As soon as Terry left for a cigarette, Mickey saw Ian making his way over. He readied himself for what he thought was coming, a pitiful glance and a speech about how parents shouldn’t beat their kids, blah blah blah.

But it never came. Instead Ian walked over and smiled.

“Missed you this morning,” he said.

Mickey was a little surprised. He wasn’t expecting that.

“Yeah, sorry. I should be able to make it tomorrow though,” Mickey replied.

Ian grinned.

“You better,” he whispered and then walked away.

Ian had a way of leaving Mickey breathless. Something all the punches in the world couldn’t do.

That night, Mickey couldn’t help but think of Ian. He spent most nights thinking about him but this was different. He wasn’t thinking about kissing him or training with him. He was thinking about being with him. Like actually being together, something Mickey never thought he would want. They had already known each other for 3 years, spending at least 3-4 days a week together. How different could it be to make it official?

Ugh! He wanted to shoot himself for being such a girl, but there was just something about Ian that made everything possible. Something that just made him want to be around the fucker all the time. He was so gone.

The next morning, during their ‘run’, Mickey decided to make his move.  However, he was finding it difficult to get the words out. That and Ian was doing that thing with his tongue that drove Mickey crazy.

The weather was getting colder, so instead of their usual back alley, the boys were crammed inside of an old van parked in Ian’s back yard. Ian was on top of Mickey, kissing his neck and palming his crotch. Mickey let out a low moan when Ian’s hand reached inside his sweats and began to stroke his dick. Their lips locked hungrily but suddenly it wasn’t enough for Mickey. He didn’t even know what happened, it just came out.

“Fuck me Ian,” he breathlessly panted.

Ian looked at him with wide eyes. They had never talked about having sex. They kissed and groped but that was it. Mickey looked at Ian with just as much shock, like he couldn’t believe what he had just said. But in true Ian fashion, he recovered without making it weird.

“Do you have a condom?” he asked a still stunned Mickey.

Mickey nodded and reached into his pocket, handing the condom to Ian.

Ian smirked. “Hmm. Did you plan this?”

But before Mickey could answer, Ian’s lips were on his again. This time, they kissed with renewed force. It was more passionate, like a wall had been broken down. And maybe it had.

Ian pushed Mickeys sweats down and placed himself in between his legs. He put 2 fingers in his mouth and sucked on them before placing one inside of Mickey.

Mickey’s body arched up at the sensation. His eyes rolled in the back of his head as his breath caught. He had fingered himself plenty of times, but for some reason, Ian’s long fingers felt better.

Ian pushed another finger in, making sure to properly stretch the older boy. He continued to kiss Mickey along his jaw and down his neck. Mickey didn’t care that he was moaning like a little bitch. Ian’s fingers inside of him felt amazing. They felt so good in fact that Mickey could have come from just that, but he was determined to feel Ian’s dick inside of him.

“Get in me, man,” he ordered softly.

Ian smiled and crashed their lips together before rolling the condom on and lining himself up.

“Ready?” he asked,

Mickey just nodded and closed his eyes. Ian pushed in slowly, not wanting to hurt Mickey. They both moaned, relishing the sensation. Once he bottomed out, Ian looked at Mickey, their foreheads meeting. 

“Move” was all Mickey had to say.

Ian moved in and out of Mickey slowly at first, both completely caught up in the moment. As good as it felt, Mickey knew he needed more. He wanted more.

“Harder Ian, fuck me harder,” he exclaimed.

Ian was quick to oblige, ramming into Mickey with renewed force. Both of them were mumbling messes, moaning and groaning at each other.

“Fuck Mickey, you feel so good,” Ian whispered in Mickey’s ear.

Mickey just found himself holding on to Ian even tighter, not wanting it to end.

He felt the nerves in his stomach turn into something else. He grabbed on to his cock and started to tug at it rapidly. Ian kept his frantic pace, finally hitting the bundle of nerves inside Mickey, making him to cry out.

“Jesus fuck!” he yelled.

Ian tried to hit that spot over and over again, causing Mickey to fall apart underneath him.

“Ian!” was all Mickey said as he came all over his and Ian’s chests. Ian continued for a few minutes, chasing his own orgasm. Finally he came with a strangled moan and collapsed on top of the other boy.

“Holy shit,” Ian said while trying to catch his breath.

Mickey only nodded, still too blissed out to move.

He could definitely get used to this.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let the angst begin!

Chapter 3

 

After the ESPN interview, the boys made their way home to their apartment. As far as Terry knows, Mickey and Ian are just roommates explaining that it would be easier to share a place since they train so much together anyway. Terry seemed satisfied with that reasoning but luckily has never set foot in the apartment. If he had, he would have noticed only one bedroom had a bed in it, the other was used as a gym. Thank God for small victories.

Once inside, Ian’s lips were immediately on Mickeys, pushing him against the front door. One hand yanks at Mickey’s hair while the other reaches underneath Mickey’s t-shirt. Mickey has both of his hands on Ian’s hips, bringing the taller boy closer and grinding their bodies together. The kiss was messy but heated.

Ian grabs Mickey’s hips and lifts him up, carrying him to their bedroom. He places Mickey gently on the bed and takes off his shirt. Mickey follows and removes his shirt as well. Mickey makes his way up the bed until he reaches the head board.

Ian takes off his sweats and boxers in one swift move and climbs on top of Mickey, trailing kisses up his body. He pushes Mickey’s gym shorts down and throws them to the side. Their lips met again, both men moaning as their bodies move together.  

“Fuck,” Mickey breaths as Ian grinds down on him.

Ian looks at Mickey and says, “Turn over,” to which Mickey immediately obeys.

Once on his stomach, Mickey buries his face into the pillow and fists the sheets. Ian kisses down his back until he reaches Mickey’s ass. He pushes the cheeks apart and begins to lick at the sensitive skin. Mickey moans into the pillow and grips the sheets harder.

When Ian pushes his tongue in, Mickey jolts forward and shuts his eyes. Ian continues to fuck Mickey with his tongue, as Mickey pushes back into him. He’s an incoherent mess but it feels so good, he doesn’t care.

Ian adds a finger in with his tongue causing Mickey to cry out, “Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Ian grins and continues his ministrations, adding another finger, but Mickey can’t take it anymore.

“Fuck me Ian, God please just fuck me!” he begs.

Ian smiles again and grabs the lube from the night stand. He slicks himself up and puts his dick on Mickey’s ass.

“Get on your knees,” Ian commands and Mickey obeys.

Mickey continues his hold on the sheets underneath him and places his forehead on the pillow. Ian pushes in slowly, loving the feel of Mickey’s ass around his dick. Both of them moan lowly as Ian begins to move. He picks up a steady pace, gripping Mickey’s hips tightly. Mickey screws his eyes shut and tightens his grip on the sheets.

The only sounds heard in the room are those of moaning and skin slapping together.

“I wanna hear you come, Mickey,” Ian says breathlessly.

Mickey moves to grip his leaking cock but Ian stops him.

“Untouched Mickey, come untouched,” he orders.

Ian continues to pound relentlessly into his lover as Mickey falls apart.

“I can’t Ian! Please…just.. fuck!” Mickey sobs.

“Yes you can baby, come on, come for me,” Ian purrs.

He fucks Mickey even harder, trying to find that bundle of nerves that drives Mickey wild.

When he hears Mickey cry out again, he knows he’s found it.

“Fuck, fuck fuck!” Mickey shouts.

Ian aims mercilessly at the spot over and over. Mickey bites down on the pillow to keep from screaming out. His eyes remain shut so tightly, tears are escaping from the sides.

“Ugh! Ian Please! Fuck!” Mickey yells.

“C’mon Mickey, you can do it,” Ian urges on.

Mickey can feel the heat rising in his stomach. He’s so close it’s almost painful. His cock is leaking all over the sheets but he can’t find the friction he needs to push him over the edge.

Suddenly Ian grabs Mickey’s hair and forces his head up. He pounds into him with renewed force and the new angle is too much for Mickey.

He screams Ian’s name along with a list of obscenities as he comes harder than he ever has. He comes so hard in fact, he swears he blacks out for a minute. Ian fucks him through it and comes a few moments later. They collapse on the bed, too spent to move.

“I fucking hate you,” Mickey says, winded but with no bite.

Ian rolls off him and on to his side. He smiles at his boyfriend.

“It felt good though right?” Ian asks, also short of breath.

“Felt fucking amazing! But I still hate you.”

Mickey brings their lips together and then sighs contently. As the boys clean themselves up, Mickey notices a voicemail on his phone.

“Shit,” he whispers as he listens to it.

“What’s up?” Ian inquires.

“My dad says he wants to meet tonight down at the Alibi,” Mickey answers.

“Ok, so go get ready,” Ian says pushing him toward the closet. Mickey reluctantly gets dressed.

He knows what’s coming. For that last few months, his dad has been pushing him to start dating. Mickey has tried every excuse as to why he doesn’t want to do it but it’s not enough for his dad. He hasn’t talked to Ian about it yet. He didn’t want to start a fight, especially if he wasn’t gonna go through with it but now he’s nervous. There’s no telling the lengths that Terry Milkovich will go to, to get what he wants.

He kisses Ian goodbye and promises not to take long. His nerves are getting the better of him but he tries to suppress them. Maybe his father just wants to talk about the upcoming fight and how to promote it or something. As he walks into the bar, he realizes he was wrong.

Next to Terry is a thin brunette with bright red lips and long finger nails. She’s pretty but obviously not Mickey’s type. He rolls his eyes internally, suddenly regretting his decision to come here.

“Ah there he is. Mickey my boy!” Terry exclaims, clearly already buzzed.

He places a hand on Mickey’s shoulder and it takes everything inside of Mickey to not flinch.

“Mickey, this is Svetlana. Lana, my boy Mickey,” he bellows.

Svetlana stands up and kisses Mickey’s cheek before sitting back down. She smiles at him lasciviously and it makes Mickey want to run. He remains standing, still unsure about what’s happening until his dad forces him to sit.

“Isn’t she a looker?” Terry asks… a little too happy.

Mickey nods but says nothing. He can see his father getting angry but still remains quiet. What the hell does he expect? That Mickey will go and fuck her senseless right here at the bar?

“Hey Lana, why don’t you go get us some beers okay?” Terry says.

As soon as she leaves the table, Terry grabs onto Mickey’s shoulder and whispers loudly in his ear.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he sneers.

“Nothing, just… what the fuck is this?” he asked hesitantly.

“What do you think it is? She’s your new girlfriend,” he explains.

Mickey’s eyes widen at the statement.

“She’s my what? What the fuck dad?” Mickey says louder than he meant to.

Now Terry looks really angry.

He grabs Mickey by the back of the neck and squeezes.

“She’s your fucking girlfriend! You’ll take her out, you’ll fuck her and you’ll make sure everyone knows about it, you hear me?!” Terry snarls.

“Or what?” Mickey challenges. He didn’t expect to be this brave but his dad was crazy if he thought for one second that he was gonna have a girlfriend.

“Or I’ll take away the one thing you love most in this world,” he says dangerously.

Mickey snorts and replies, “I’d love to see you try and take MMA from me dad.”

Jesus, what’s gotten into him?

“I mean the red head. Ian, right?”

Mickey’s heart stops and the color on his face disappears.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” he mutters.

“Don’t even try to deny it. You think I don’t know? You think I haven’t been in your apartment before?” Terry says wickedly.

Mickey feels like he’s going to have a heart attack. He knows. His father knows.

“Dad it’s not, just let me explain,” Mickey tries but fails to speak in complete sentences.

“Save it. That shit ends now. Lana is your girlfriend… period. And if I find out from her that you’re not putting out or giving her what she wants… I’ll end you and the red head. You hear me?”

Terry lets go of Mickey’s neck just as Svetlana returns with more beers. He spends the next hour of his life trying to seem interested in her but fuck it, he can’t do it.

“I’ve got to get up early for training… so,” he mumbles, standing up to leave.

He sees the look on his father’s face, so he walks over to the brunette and kisses her on the cheek before he leaves. As soon as he’s out of the bar, he runs to his car, gets in and slams the door. He hits the steering wheel over and over, cursing his father for being such a prick.

What the fuck was he going to tell Ian? What would Ian do? His mind overwhelms him with different scenarios, each one worse than the first.

When he gets home, he finds Ian on their couch watching TV. He immediately goes to his boyfriend, mounts his lap and kisses him hard. Ian returns the kiss but then pulls away a little breathless.

“What was that for?” he asks Mickey, staring into his eyes.

“You know how much I love you, right?” Mickeys says desperately.

Ian nods but looks unsure. Why the hell was Mickey acting like this?

“Everything okay?” Ian inquires.

Mickey doesn’t answer, just kisses Ian again. When they break away for the second time, he leans his forehead to Ian’s.

“I just… I love you… more than anything. That’s all,” he answers.

“I love you too,” Ian whispers, grinning widely.

He wraps his arms around Mickey and picks him up, bringing him to their room. They take it slow this time. Kissing and touching each other for hours.

When Ian finally falls asleep, Mickey looks at him and almost wants to cry. He can’t let his father hurt Ian. He knows what he has to do. Hopefully Ian will forgive him.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I keep going back and forth between them as teenagers and the present day. I will try to give a clue as to their age if I do a "flashback"

Chapter 4

 

“Jesus fuck Ian!” Mickey exclaimed.

Ian was on top of him, fucking him relentlessly into his mattress. The Gallaghers were out of the house and the boys decided to make use of it. Between training and going to school (well showing up occasionally), they rarely had time alone.

They had been officially fucking for a year and while Mickey loved every second of it, he couldn’t help but wonder what would happen when he turned eighteen and could fight in adult competitions. His father had already lined up some smaller fights to prepare him for the “real” ones.

He found himself both excited and nervous. Fighting always felt natural to Mickey but lately his biggest worry was letting his family down. Letting his father down stemmed mostly from fear but letting his siblings or Ian down was not something he wanted to do… ever.

Right now however, the only thing he could think about was his boyfriend hovering over him, pushing into him so deeply, his eyes rolled into the back of his head. With every thrust he could feel himself fall apart. Every time he looked at Ian, he felt happy and calm. Ian was almost soothing in a way. No matter what was going on in his life, he always felt safe with Ian.

Mickey had never felt this way about anyone. He thought he would die if he was ever parted from him. It got to the point that Mickey didn’t even know who he was when Ian wasn’t around. He didn’t like who he was when Ian wasn’t around.

What the hell was wrong with him? Mickey wasn’t supposed to fall in love. He wasn’t supposed to care so much about someone that it hurt. Oh God, was this love?

As Ian pounded away inside of him, Mickey’s mind went to those three words. Over and over he said them in his head. They terrified him but kind of excited him too.

Suddenly he was brought out of his thoughts when Ian hit him inside, just at the right angle, causing him to cry out. He looked at the boy on top of him, watching the sweat slowly drip from his forehead. Mickey knew right then and there… he loved this boy. Mickey Milkovich was in love.

***

Mickey was not looking forward to this interview. Not even a little. Sports Center was coming over to film him during his workout and then ask him about his upcoming fight. His father was there and that was never a good thing.

Mickey is off his game. His normal smooth and fluid movements are sloppy and unfocused. Ian takes notice and pulls him aside.

“What’s up with you?” he asks in a hushed tone.

Mickey looks around making sure that no one can hear him before he speaks.

“Nothing, I’m just tired,” he lies.

Ian can tell that Mickey is hiding something but he doesn’t want to push him, so for now, he lets it go. They walk over to the camera crew and Mickey tells them he’ll be with them shortly. He walks with Ian into the locker room, but not before his father gives him a deadly glare.

Mickey starts to undress when Ian grabs at his waist and attempts to kiss his neck. Mickey pushes Ian back a little harder than he meant to, causing Ian to crash into the lockers.

“What the fuck Mickey?” Ian gasps.

Mickey looks angry but he knows it’s not Ian’s fault that he has to act like a prick right now.

“My dad’s right outside Ian! You fucking crazy?!” he gapes.

Ian looks at Mickey with disbelief before he answers. He wasn’t going to bring it up but Mickey was not acting like himself. Yes, he was normally a prick but not to Ian, not when they were alone.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asks and Mickey immediately looks away.

“Nothing,” he lies again.

Ian attempts to grab his arm, but Mickey waves him off and walks toward the shower. Once inside, he lets the hot water run down his body and he closes his eyes. He knows that he shouldn’t be so mean to Ian but he can’t help it. He needs Ian to hate him.

He’s been “seeing” Svetlana for a few weeks and it’s starting to get to him. Thankfully she hasn’t wanted to have sex yet but he knows it’s only a matter of time. Every time they’re together he has to make an excuse to not sleep with her. She’s probably getting suspicious and Mickey has found himself staying up late at night trying to figure out what to do.

The worst part has been the lying. He hated having to lie to Ian, telling him that he was with his family, when he was actually having dinner with a woman. He felt like shit and he needed Ian to treat him like shit. It was the only way.

After his shower he stepped out, only to find himself alone. He quickly got dressed and made his way back outside. Ian was talking to Iggy, whispering something. From the look on their faces, Mickey could see it wasn’t good.

He makes his way to the camera crew who have started to set up their equipment. Once he’s mic’d up, he sits down and looks toward Ian again. He tries to force a smile but Ian dismisses his attempts and continues talking to Iggy.

He’s so wrapped up in what’s happening between him and Ian that he doesn’t even notice the reporter talking to him. Mickey finally snaps out of it.

“Mickey?!” the reporter asks.

“Hmm. What?” Mickey responds.

“Sorry, I was um… distracted. What did you ask?” he continues.

“I asked you what you think of your opponent, Derek “the destroyer” Nelson?” the reporter inquires.

As Mickey responds Ian tries his best to not roll his eyes. Mickey’s responses are so rehearsed and unnatural. He wants to say something about it, but he knows that’s all Terry. He insists on Mickey sounding a certain way and he doesn’t trust him to do it on his own.

Ian’s almost had enough when a particular question catches his attention.

“So Mickey, who’s the lucky lady everyone’s seen you around town with?” the reporter asks.

Mickey’s eyes immediately shoot up and meet Ians. He can’t figure out the expression on Ian’s face. He then looks at his father who tells him to answer the question.

“Um… her name is Lana. We met a few weeks ago,” he answers, unsure of himself. He looks apologetically at Ian, wishing and praying that he doesn’t make a scene.

Ian, being the mature adult that he is, throws an internal temper tantrum and storms off to go smoke outside. Terry merely snorts in amusement and returns his eyes to his son, shooting him a satisfied smile, before he walks away.

Ten minutes later, Mickey finishes up the interview and runs outside. He finds Ian sucking down a cigarette in the alley, pacing like an angry animal. This is not the way he wanted to tell him, but here goes nothing.

“Ian look-” Mickey starts but is immediately cut off.

“Girlfriend? You have a fucking girlfriend?! This is a joke right?!” Ian screams.

He searches Mickey’s eyes for any hint that it might be a joke, but sees nothing.

“Oh my god, it’s real isn’t it?” he laughs incredulously and turns away.

Mickey tries to hold his arm but Ian snatches it away.

“Don’t. Fucking. Touch me,” he growls. He’s never seen Ian like this before. It’s a little scary.

“Ian please just, fuck, just let me explain!” Mickey pleads and tries to grab him again, but this time Ian pushes him against the wall.

“Did you fuck her?” Ian demands.

Mickey looks into his eyes before answering.

“Ian, we’ve just been… hanging out, having dinner mostly. Look my dad wanted-”

“I don’t give a shit what your dad wants. Did you fuck her!?” Ian bellows stepping closer to Mickey, caging him in.

“No. I… I wouldn’t do that to you,” Mickey whispers, looking at the ground.

Ian’s expression softens a little.

Mickey continues to stare at the ground, too ashamed to look at his boyfriend. Ian cups Mickey’s chin and forces him to look up. He can see Mickey’s eyes watering and he knows he’s telling the truth. As fucked up as the situation is, he doesn’t want Mickey hurting like this.

“I’m sorry Ian. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you but…” his voice breaks and he can’t finish the sentence.

Ian leans down and meets his forehead to Mickey’s.

“My dad knows about us,” Mickey mutters quietly.

Ian’s head shoots up and he stares frantically at the other boy.

“What?” Ian asks still dumbfounded.

“He told me the night I first met La-...um the first night I met her. He said if I didn’t go out with her, he would… he would kill you Ian. Fuck! I’m sorry but I couldn’t let him do that! I won’t!” Mickey begs, clawing at Ian’s arms.

“I'm not gonna let him hurt you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry…” he says it over and over desperately until Ian finally stops him with his own lips.

Mickey kisses back savagely, never wanting to let go of his lover. He eventually breaks away from the kiss and looks at Ian.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers again emphatically.

Ian nods and wraps his arms around Mickeys waist, burying his head in the nook between Mickey’s neck and shoulders.

“Does she know about you? I mean about me and you?” Ian asks, his voice muffled into Mickey’s shirt.

“No. I mean what if she tells my dad?” Mickey demands.

“What if she doesn’t?” Ian retorts.

Ian pulls his head away from Mickey’s shoulder and stares at him intently.

“Tell her Mickey… Or I will,” he says, releasing Mickey's waist and walking away.

Fuck.,.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me!!

Chapter 5

 

Ian and Mickey haven’t spoken since Ian found out about Svetlana, three weeks ago. They’re still together but Mickey has been banished to the couch. Ian explains that he doesn’t want to be near Mickey until he ends whatever it is that he has with Lana. Mickey argues that there’s nothing going on between them but finally relents, figuring it’s easier to acquiesce to Ian’s wishes.

They still train together; Ian continues to fulfill his role as training partner, but there’s a definite coldness in the air when they’re together. The pair no longer moves with fluidity or finesse. Iggy and Mandy have noticed the tension between them as well.

“You still sleeping on the couch?” Iggy asks his brother after his workout.

“Um… yeah, he’s still pissed,” Mickey mutters as he takes his grappling gloves off.

“He knows it’s not for real right? That this is just our dad being an asshole?” Iggy continues.

“It doesn’t matter Iggy, I fucked up. I deserve whatever this is,” he resigns and walks into the locker room.

Iggy follows and stops him before he can grab his gym bag.

“You don’t deserve this man! You have a fight next week. You need to focus and not deal with your whiney ass boyfriend that-” Mickey stops Iggy by shoving him into the lockers and pushing his elbow to his brothers throat.

“Don’t! I fucking lied to him Iggy! He has the right to be pissed. He’ll be fine once I break things off with Lana,” Mickey says, slowly taking his arm off his brother’s neck.

“Are you crazy? You know dad will kill you if you break up with her right?!” Iggy yells, stalking toward his brother.

Mickey puts his hand up to stop Iggy’s advancing figure. He sighs, slumping his shoulders in the process.

“Just leave me the fuck the alone okay? I’ll handle it, I always do,” Mickey finishes.

He walks to the shower and starts the water as Iggy storms outside. He gives Ian a deadly glare before leaving the gym.

“The fuck was that about?” Ian asks Mandy.

“He’s just pissed that you’re still angry at Mickey. He’s worried about him Ian. He has a fight next week and instead of focusing on it, he’s busy trying to not piss you off,” Mandy answers plainly.

Ian has always been closer to Mandy than Iggy. Since he was a teenager, he’s looked out for her just like her brothers, but they liked to have fun too. Usually in the way of late night movie marathons and calorie filled sleepovers. Ian was the brother she always wanted.

“You act like this is my fault! I’m not the one that lied and started dating someone else!” Ian screams a little louder than he hoped.

Mandy pushes him into the corner and attempts to hush him.

“Ian you know he didn’t have a choi-” she starts to say but Ian cuts her off.

“No! Don’t tell me he didn’t have a choice! I get that your dad is an asshole, but you all need to grow a pair and stand up to him! Last I checked, there are three of you and only one of him!” Ian huffs angrily and stalks out of the gym, leaving Mandy a bit shocked.

***

When Mickey gets home, he’s surprised to see his pillow and blanket are gone from the couch.

“Ian?” he asks, walking further into the living room.

“Bedroom,” he hears Ian say.

He stops at the bedroom door, unsure of whether he’s allowed in. Ian senses his hesitation and walks over to him. He gently places his hands on Mickey’s waist and moves him toward the bed.

“I’m sorr-” Mickey starts but is cut off by Ian’s lips.

“Shut up,” Ian mutters and continues to kiss his boyfriend.

He pushes Mickey on to the bed and crawls on top of him. Mickey kisses him back eagerly, having missed Ian’s touch. He’s practically clawing at Ian, physically begging him for more. Ian responds by aggressively pushing Mickey’s sweats down and grabbing Mickey’s erection.

Mickey arches his body at the contact and latches his hands to Ian’s shoulders. Ian pumps at Mickey’s dick quickly, almost painfully, making the older boy cry out. He loves Mickey more than anything but right now all he can think about is that woman, putting her hands all over what’s his, and Mickey letting her.

He holds Mickey down with his left elbow and shoves down his own boxers with his right hand. He’s not trying to hurt Mickey but he does anyway. He roughly enters the dark haired boy, only to hear him scream out.

“What the fuck Ian!” Mickey grits through his teeth, clearly in pain.

He knows he should stop, but he can’t. His mind floods him with images of her, the woman that ruined everything for him, the woman that stole Mickey away. He knows he isn’t being rational but he’s so fucking angry.

He doesn’t even realize he’s crying until Mickey wipes away his tears. He finally stops and looks down at his boyfriend’s broken expression. What the fuck is he doing?

Ian immediately gets off Mickey and stands up while Mickey stays on the bed. They’re both panting and crying, looking at each other with shock, neither of them believing what just happened.

Mickey slowly climbs out of the bed, grabbing for his sweats and putting them on. He walks past Ian to the dresser and starts taking clothes out.

“I’m gonna stay with Iggy until the fight okay?” Mickey whispers as he fills his gym bag.

Ian doesn’t say anything but nods. Mickey looks at Ian one last time before leaving the room. He takes in the tear tracks and the blood shot eyes of the man standing before him and he knows he should be angry, livid actually. But he doesn’t have the energy for it. Some stupid part of Mickey’s brain is telling him he deserved what just happened.

This was all his fault anyway right?

As soon as Mickey leaves, Ian falls to the ground and starts to sob. As angry as he’s been with Mickey, he didn’t deserve what he just did to him. He didn’t deserve any of it. Ian knows he has issues with over reacting. He takes everything so personal but with Mickey it’s always personal.

He’s never loved anyone as much as he loves Mickey. He can’t imagine his life without Mickey but fuck, Mickey just keeps hurting him.

He knows it’s not on purpose but sometimes it’s like Mickey drives him to act crazy, pushing him to do things he knows he’ll regret. And he does regret this. So much.

He figures it’s best to leave Mickey alone until his fight. Iggy’s right, he needs to focus on that and not on his psycho jealous boyfriend.

***

Iggy’s a little shocked to see his little brother at his apartment this late at night. He moves to the side and lets his brother in.

“Can I stay here for a few days, til the fight maybe?” Mickey asks softly.

Iggy’s a little taken back by his brother’s quiet demeanor. Something serious must have happened, he thinks as he takes in the distraught look on Mickey’s.

“Yeah of course. Everything okay with you and Ian?” he inquires.

Mickeys looks away before answering. “I… I don’t wanna talk about it,” he whispers.

Iggy nods and shows him to his room. He knows not to push his brother. For now, at least he hopes Mickey will focus on his upcoming fight and not his relationship troubles.

***

The night of the fight finds Mickey nervous as fuck. He’s pacing back and forth in his dressing room, trying desperately to calm himself down. He knows he’ll be called out soon so when he hears a knock on the door, he assumes it’s the officials coming to get him. Instead he turns around and is a little shocked by who he sees.

“Sorry, I just come to wish you good fight,” she says, slowly making her way to the fighter.

For some strange reason, Mickey’s actually kind of glad to see her. He smiles and it calms him down a bit. He’d been hoping to see Ian before his fight but figured he wanted to give Mickey his space. They hadn’t said a word to each other since it happened.

“I’m fucking nervous,” he spits out, unsure of why he suddenly trusts her.

She smiles warmly before replying. “You should be, other man is huge. He will probably crush you like little bug,” she says making a squishing gesture with her fingers.

Mickey doesn’t know why but he starts to laugh and god does it feel good. He can’t remember the last time he laughed. She joins him, giggling softly. Mickey doesn’t know what comes over him but in that moment he decides to kiss her… on the mouth… with tongue.

She returns the kiss and places her hands on either side of Mickey’s face. When they break away, he smiles at her again. He feels calm and relaxed. She wishes him good luck again before exiting the room.

He finally feels ready for his first professional fight. He’s so busy hyping himself up that he fails to notice Ian standing in the doorway. He doesn’t realize that Ian saw everything that just happened. He doesn’t notice the tears slowly falling down Ian’s face. He doesn’t notice Ian walking away.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm adding 2 chapters since I have a busy work week ahead and I'm not sure when I'll be able to post again.

Chapter 6

 

“Great fight Mickey! How does it feel to win your first professional fight?” asks a reporter.

Mickey looks around and smiles a wide grin before answering, “Pretty fucking great.”

The pressroom is packed with tv cameras and reporters from all over the Chicago area.

“You put on quite a show Milkovich, your girlfriend must be pretty happy about that,” another reporter says, averting all eyes to the leggy brunette to his right.

Svetlana smiles up at Mickey and runs her hand softly down his cheek. “Of course I am happy,” she says in a thick Russian accent.

“My man is a winner,” she continues.

Mickey smiles back and lets her kiss his cheek, much to the delight of all in the room. All, except of course for Ian who has to turn away. Iggy shoots him a sympathetic look but it’s all too much for Ian who makes his way out of the room.

Iggy follows him. “Ian! C’mon man, you know he doesn’t mean any of it right?”

‘Really Iggy?! Are you sure about that?!” Ian snarls back.

Iggy is about to answer him but Ian just slams his way through the exit doors.

***

After the press conference, Mickey finds Iggy and asks, “Hey, where’s Ian? I can’t find him anywhere.”

Iggy looks sadly at his brother. “Um... he left already. Said he was tired,” he lies.

“Oh ok. I better get home then, I need to talk to him. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Mickey states.

“Hey Mickey?” Iggy starts, “Great fight man. You did good.”

Mickey just smiles and walks toward the exit, holding up his middle finger at his brother.

 

***

 

Mickeys walks into his apartment and drops his gym bag down next to his shoes.

“Ian?” he shouts into the expansive living room area.

He walks into the hallway toward the open bedroom door. Ian is facing away from him, looking for something in the drawers of the large dresser.

“Hey! Look who won their first professional fi-.”

Before he can finish the sentence, he notices a large duffle on the bed. Ian grabs what he was looking for from the dresser and places the items in the bag. Mickey looks back and forth between Ian and the bag.

“What are you doing?” he asks the red head.

“What’s it look like?” he says as he continues to stuff the bag full of clothing. “I’m leaving.”

Mickey feels his heart drop. “What do you mean you’re leaving? Where are you going?”

“Home,” he bites back, placing the bag on his shoulder. He shoves roughly past Mickey, on his way to the front door but before he can make it, he feels Mickey’s hand on his shoulder, turning him around.

“Wait! Ian, you… you are home,” Mickey says hesitantly.

Ian shrugs his arm off and says, “I can’t do this anymore.”

Mickey’s eyes widen at the statement as he looks up.

“What?!” he tries to say but Ian starts walking toward the door again. This time Mickey grabs his arm and forcefully turns him around.

“What the fuck are you saying?” Mickey chokes out.

“I’m saying I’m done with this Mickey! You and that Russian bitch can have each other!” Ian shouts.

Mickey’s eyes find the floor. He doesn’t have the guts to look Ian in the eye right now.

“Ian, I know this hasn’t been easy but -“ Mickey tries to say but is cut off.

“You don’t know shit! You have no idea what it’s like for me to see you with her. It makes me fucking sick, Mickey,” Ian yells.

“It’s not real Ian!” Mickey shouts back. “It’s just for the cameras. She doesn’t matter to me. You have to know that. You’re the only person that I’ve ever given a shit about!”

Mickey tries to put his arms around the taller boy only to have his efforts shoved back at him.

“Ten years Mickey. Ten years, I’ve been by your side. I’ve been your best friend, your training partner and your lover. And I admit, last week I fucked up…big time. I should have never done that to you, but her?? Putting her hands all over you! Everyone thinking that you belong to her? I can’t fucking do it Mickey!” Ian screams, his full anger finally showing through.

“Ian, look, I’m sorry! You know it’s my dad, he wants…. Fuck! Just please….. don’t….don’t do this, don’t leave me!” Mickey sputters finding it difficult to express himself.

He takes Ian’s face in his hands, forcing the younger boy to look at him. “I love you,” he whispers with tear filled eyes.

Ian closes his eyes and places his hands over Mickey’s. “I saw you kissing her in the dressing room.”

Fuck!

“Ian please, that’s not what, I mean… I just…” Mickey tries but fails to speak coherently.

“Make your choice Mickey! Me or her!” Ian yells.

“You, of course you!” Mickey replies without hesitation.

Ian’s expression softens.

“Good, call her and tell her you never want to see her again,” he says handing his phone to Mickey.

Mickey looks down at the phone. “Ian, it’s not that easy. I… I need more time.”

Ian snatches his phone back, picks up his bag and walks out the front door, slamming it in the process.

Mickey just stands there, too shocked to move.

On her way up the stairwell, Mandy passes by Ian, noticing the bag in his hands.

“Ian? What’s going on?” she asks as she reaches the top step.

Ian looks up at her with sad eyes. “Take care of him Mands,” he says and continues his descent before Mandy can say anything else.

Mandy reaches her brothers apartment and knocks quickly before entering. She finds Mickey sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.

“Hey Mickey, I just saw Ian. What happ-“, Mandy stops as soon as she sees the distraught look on her brothers face.

“Mickey?” she inquires, crouching down in front of her brother. She’s never seen him like this. She notices Mickey’s heavy breathing, his face filled with tear tracts.

“Mickey, look at me! What the fuck happened?” she asks, grabbing Mickey’s face.

“He…he left me,” Mickey chokes out through a sob. “He fucking left me Mandy.”

Mandy doesn’t say anything. She simply lets Mickey speak and yell and cry. After about an hour, he tires himself out and falls asleep on the couch. Mandy drapes a blanket over him and walks into his bedroom. She sits on his bed and dials Iggy’s number.

“S’up sis?” he answers.

“Ian left Mickey,” she simply states.

“What??” he asks, seemingly dumbfounded.

There’s no way, he thinks. They’ve been together so long. Iggy doesn’t even know if he remembers a time when Ian wasn’t around Mickey.

“He just grabbed his stuff and left. This is bad Iggy. Mickey has another fight is in less than four months. Dad’s gonna flip,” she says with concern.

“Where is he now?” Iggy inquires.

“Couch, fell asleep after crying for like an hour,” she answers.

“Jesus,” Iggy whispers.

“Alright, I’m coming over. I’ll spend the night with him, make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid,” Iggy explains.

“And what am I supposed to do?” Mandy demands.

“Go home and figure out a way to get Ian to come back!”

Mandy rolls her eyes but agrees.

When Iggy shows up, he camps out on the recliner in the living room and smokes his first of many cigarettes. It’s going to be a long night.

***

It’s three days later and Mickey still won’t get out of bed. He’s missed all of his workouts and his team and sponsors are starting to get worried. Iggy tries his best to keep them at bay, insisting that Mickey is under the weather but will be back in training shape soon.

After spending hours at the gym, convincing the world (and Terry) that Mickey isn’t dead, he heads back to Mickey’s apartment.

As he walks inside he calls out to his brother, knowing full well that he won’t answer him.

“Yo Mickey, you up? I brought dinner,” he shouts in no particular direction. He walks toward Mickey’s room and finds it empty. Or so he thinks.

He’s about to leave the room when he notices feet sticking out from the other side of the bed. Iggy rushes over and finds Mickey face down on the ground, not moving.

“Mickey! Mickey what the fuck!” he screams.

He sees a pill bottle lying next to his brother, empty of its contents. He looks at the fill date and notices it wasn’t that long ago.

“Fuck!” he yells. He then sees Mickey’s cell phone and picks it up.

There’s a text conversation between Ian and Mickey. His hearts drops as he reads it. Ian tells him he deserves better and that he’s done being Mickey’s little secret.

Shit.

He keeps reading where Mickey tells him how much he loves him but Ian answers that he isn’t coming back as long as the Russian bitch is around.

Double shit.

He leans down to check on his brother and is thankful when he feels a pulse but it’s weak. He quickly calls 911 and then Mandy.

She rushes to the hospital to meet Iggy.

“What the fuck happened?” she screams.

“Jesus Christ Mandy! Keep your voice down!” he yells in a hushed tone.

Iggy hands her the pill bottle and she examines it.

“It was almost full. He took at least 20 pills,” he explains.

“Fuck,” is all Mandy can say.

She looks up at her brother.

“We have to get Ian back. We have to! I’m going to go talk to him,” she says but Iggy looks away, clearly distraught for his brother.

“We’re going to fix this okay Iggy?”

He nods and she leaves.

Iggy walks into Mickey’s hospital room. The doctors pumped his stomach and were able to get most of the drugs out of his system. He needs to stay there at least two more days, but they said he would be okay. He goes up to the bed and takes a seat next to his brother.

“Don’t worry Mickey, we’ll fix this. It’s gonna be okay,” he says softly.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Suicidal language and reference

 

 

Chapter 7

_We’re done._

Mickey reads the message over and over. The unwelcomed finality of the words devour him, pushing bile up his throat. He stares at his phone a few minutes longer, letting it all sink in.

Ian left him and he wasn’t coming back. Mickey shakes his head, determined to clear those thoughts but they immediately return. Ian left him… for real… for good.

He feels like his body doesn’t have any tears left to produce. He’s never cried so much in his life before and that’s saying something considering who his dad is.

It’s funny, he thinks, how the hits that he took from his father over the years don’t even come close to the agony that he’s feeling right now.

The one person that he could always count on in his life was Ian. What would happen now? Sure he could keep fighting but without Ian as his training partner, what would be the point? He could find a new training partner, hell, he could even find a new boyfriend, but he didn’t want that. He wants Ian.

Mickey looks down at his phone one last time. He places the phone down on the bed and reaches for his pain medication. It’s been a few hours since he last took some so he figures he’s okay to take them now.

He’s about to pop the two pills into his mouth when he stops and surveys the bottle. He’s just had it recently filled so he knows he has about 25 pills. He thoughtfully reads the warning label:

_Misuse of this medication can cause addiction, overdose or death. This medication can slow or stop your breathing. Only take the amount prescribed by your doctor._

Yet another sentence bursting with finality. Mickey glances at his phone and then back at the bottle. His mind is having an internal conflict with Ian’s words nagging at him. Ian seemed really sure about his decision, maybe Mickey can too.

He takes the water bottle from his night stand and unscrews the top. Temerariously, he dumps the contents of the pill bottle in his left hand and swallows as many as he can in one go. He struggles but eventually drinks enough water to get them all down his throat. He repeats this gesture until all of the pills are gone.

He instantly feels his stomach start to churn. His body is not happy about this. His head aches, as his body physically reacts to his attack. His eyes begin to droop and his vision gets blurry. He’s finding it difficult to sit upright so he tries to stand up but he’s too weak and promptly falls to his knees on the floor.

He’s not ready, not quite yet. He wants to text Ian, tell him goodbye.

He attempts to swing his body around and get his phone, but loses his balance the second his hand touches the bed. He falls forward, hitting his head on the night stand. He tries to get up again, but can’t, his body weighing him down like cement.

He struggles to open his eyes as he slowly moves his body further down the floor. Mickey can actually feel his heart beat, pounding sluggishly against his chest as his breathing speeds up into short bursts of air. His arms and legs begin to shake violently, making it difficult for him to breathe.

What if this was a mistake? What if Ian wanted him back? What if…

Suddenly, he’s calm, his mind blank, except for the face staring back at him. Those damn green eyes and that fiery red hair. Even in death, Mickey Milkovich can't escape Ian Gallagher.

 

***

Mandy knocks forcefully on the worn down door. If she was a considerate person, she would care that it’s after midnight, but she’s not.

After a few minutes of incessant pounding, a light finally turns on inside the house. She hopes Ian will be the one to answer, but as the door swings open, she realizes… no such luck.

“Seriously Mandy, what the fuck? It’s 1am and I have to get up early for work!” Fiona shouts, clearly angry about the late night intrusion.

Mandy simply rolls her eyes.

“I need to talk to Ian, it’s about Mickey,” she states.

“What about Mickey?” Ian asks from the foot of the stairs.

Fiona looks between the two and throws her hands up in the air in defeat. She glares at Mandy one last time before taking her queue and heading back to her room.

Ian walks to the door and asks again, “What about Mickey?”

He looks annoyed more than anything. What a prick, she thinks.

“Ian, I know you’re pissed about Lana but Mickey needs you. He has a fight coming up and-”

“Is that seriously all you care about? That he has a fight coming up? Yeah let’s just forget the fact that he lied to me and started dating someone else, oh and that he refuses to break things off with her but still wants to be with me! What the fuck Mandy?” Ian says walking outside onto the porch.

“Ian it’s not that simple,” Mandy replies in a surprisingly calm voice.

He runs a frustrated hand through his hair.

“What is it with you Milkoviches always trying to make shit complicated? It is simple Mandy, he’s supposed to be with me and only me. Not me and another person. Not me and a part time girlfriend or whatever the fuck she is!” Ian yells as he opens the front door, fully intent on going back inside.

“Ian wait, Mickey-” she tries to tell him but Ian cuts her off.

“No Mandy! I’m done with this shit. Let me know if he decides to grow a pair, otherwise I don’t want to hear shit about him!” he yells and storms back into the house, slamming the door in Mandy’s stunned face.

Well that didn’t go as planned…

Fuck it, she thinks. She forces her way into the house and grabs Ian before he can make it up the stairs.

“Listen to me you fucking asshole! You wanna act like you don’t give a shit about my brother… fine! But don’t you dare call him a coward! All our lives my brother protected me and Iggy against our father. Every time he got angry at one of us, Mickey would distract him and take the punishment. And yeah, for some fucked up reason, he’s always wanted our dad’s approval but that doesn’t make him a piece of shit. You however, are a piece of shit. I came here hoping that you’d realize what a mistake you made by leaving Mickey. That you’d know how badly you hurt him! He fucking tried to kill himself Ian! He swallowed an entire bottle of pain pills and if Iggy hadn’t found him…” Mandy struggles to finish her sentence as her eyes well up with tears.

Ian just stares at her wide eyed, mouth hanging open. All of his frustrated emotions were now being replaced by frantic, nervous ones.

“Forget it, Iggy and I will take care of him. He’s better off without you anyway. At least he knows we’ll never leave him,” Mandy bites, pushing Ian aside, making her way to the door.

Ian just looks at the space in front of him, like he’s waiting for someone to come in and tell him this was all a joke. Mickey wouldn’t try to kill himself, he just wouldn’t… right?

What the fuck has he done?

 

***

 

“What the…?” Mickey mumbles as he opens his eyes.

He looks around, taking in his surroundings. Clearly he’s in a hospital, if the horrific gown he’s wearing and the beeping machines are any indicator.

“Mickey?” Iggy says, standing up from the chair next to the bed.

Mickey opens his eyes completely but still finds it difficult to focus. Not that it matters, he’d recognize Iggys voice anywhere.

“Hey, welcome back,” Iggy mutters softly.

He hates looking at Mickey like this. He has never seen him so vulnerable before. Mickey wasn’t supposed to be vulnerable, he was supposed to be the strong one, the one that everyone could always count on. What the fuck did Ian do to him?

“How you feelin?” he asks his little brother then immediately regrets the stupid question.

“Like I got hit by a mack truck,” Mickey replies hoarsely.

Iggy gives him a weak smile before sitting back down.

“Where’s Mandy?” Mickey asks, breaking the silence.

“Oh she, um… she’ll be back soon, had to run an errand” Iggy replies sheepishly. Lying was never his strong suit.

“Right,” Mickey mutters suspiciously.

His mind immediately takes him back to Ian. He wonders what the red head is doing. Is he happy? Does he miss Mickey? Does he regret leaving?

He’s brought out of his thoughts by someone clearing their throat. He looks up and sees Svetlana entering the room, looking unsure about her right to be there.

He nods slightly, giving her permission to walk inside. Iggy looks between the two and decides to take a smoke break, nodding at Lana to take his chair. She sits next to the bed and studies Mickey carefully.

“Mandy text me, tells me you’re in hospital. I rush right over,” she explains.

“Um listen, I appreciate that but there’s something I have to tell you…” Mickey starts.

He looks uncomfortable as fuck and she can sense it. She raises her hand to stop him.

“If it is about you and orange haired boy, I know,” she states simply.

Mickey looks on in shock.

“What do you mean you know?” he asks, dumbfounded by this conversation.

“You talk about him every time we are together. I am not blind. I see how you look at him. I know what love looks like.”

“But then why are you still here? I mean why stick around if you know I can’t be with you?” he demands.

She smiles softly at him and for some reason it puts Mickey at ease.

“You’re nice to me. You listen and you make stupid jokes and I laugh,” she informs him.

“I am not used to nice men. The men I usually go out with are rude and violent, but you are sweet and kind,” she continues.

Well that’s a first, he thinks. He never thought anyone would describe him as nice.

“Why haven’t you told my dad? I mean, he wants me to fuck you, probably get you pregnant or some shit,” he stutters, a blush creeping up his neck.

She laughs and shakes her head.

“I have proposition for you. You keep taking me out, making me laugh and being nice to me and I’ll tell your father that you’re giving it to me good and hard,” she says, struggling to keep a serious face.

Suddenly they both burst out laughing. It’s so easy for her to make Mickey laugh.

“Seriously? You would do that for me?” Mickey asks earnestly.

“Of course, what are friends for yeah?” she replies.

She stands up and gives Mickey a light peck on the cheek. He smiles at her, thankful that he doesn’t have to pretend anymore. He’s been with his family and Ian so long that he never really understood what it was like to have an actual friend and it feels nice.

As much as he likes being around her, there is definitely someone else he wishes was there. Lana picks up on his expression.

‘It was because of me, yes? He leave you because of me?” she inquires.

Mickey doesn’t answer but slowly nods.

Suddenly she gets up and makes her way out of the room.

“Hey wait, where are you going?” Mickey implores.

“Must talk to orange haired boy,” she responds.

“His name is Ian!” Mickey yells with no malice.

She sticks her tongue out at him and walks away.

 

***

 

Mandy finds herself outside the hospital, nervous as fuck to see her brother. What if he asks her about Ian? What was she supposed to say?

‘Hey I told the love of your life that you almost died and he didn’t care… who’s hungry?’

She rolls her eyes internally at that fucking red head that decided to weasel his way into their family.

As she walks up to the hospital doors, she sees Iggy sitting at a bench, smoking. She veers toward him and sits down.

“Hey, how’d it go with Ian?” Iggy asks in a hopeful tone.

Mandy slumps her shoulders in return.

“That bad?” he adds.

“He wouldn’t even hear me out! He just kept saying that Mickey was a coward and I couldn’t take it anymore!” she says, frustrated.

They both stare out into the parking lot, smoking their cigarettes, not caring in the least that it’s almost 3am.

After a while, Mandy finally looks at Iggy. “You going home? I can stay with him.”

Iggy agrees and walks off toward the L station. Mandy heads back inside and runs into Lana.

“Oh hey, you came,” she says somewhat surprised.

“Of course I come, he’s in hospital,” Lana replies matter of factly.

“No it’s just you know since you and him are, well you’re, what the hell are you?” Mandy inquires.

“We’re friends. I know about him and Ian,” she answers but once she sees the scared expression across Mandy’s face, adds, “but I will not tell Terry of this. I swear it.”

Mandy relaxes and gives Lana a small smile.

“Thanks, you know, for that and for coming. It means a lot,” Mandy tells her.

They nod at each other and walk away in separate directions.

 

***

 

Ian looks down at his phone for the hundredth time.

“God damn it Mandy!” he groans, rolling his eyes toward the sky.

He’s been texting her for the last two hours trying to find out what hospital Mickey is in but the only thing she’s texted back so far is ‘Go fuck yourself’.

He deserves that. He deserves worse but first he needs to find Mickey. Once he knows that Mickey is safe, he can hash out whatever punishment he wants. Even if it means never seeing him again.

How could he be so stupid?! How could he think leaving Mickey was the answer? He had no idea how hard everything’s been on Mickey. For him to feel so lost and overwhelmed that killing himself actually felt like the answer.

Ian’s made many mistakes in his life but this was definitely the worst. He runs up to the information counter, completely out of breath and frantically asks the nurse if there’s a Mickey Milkovich in that hospital.

“Just a moment,” she says, typing away on her computer.

Ian is praying that this is the right hospital. He’s already tried three others with no luck. His legs bounce impatiently from side to side as he waits for her answer.

She finally looks up and says, “Yes, we have someone by that name. 5th floor, room 525.”

She didn’t even have a chance to say more as Ian bolted to the nearest elevator and hit the button for the 5th floor. He had no idea what he was going to say to Mickey. Maybe he would listen, maybe he would throw him out. The thought of that made Ian sick to his stomach.

The elevator reached the 5th floor but when the doors opened, Ian felt glued to the floor. This was all his fault. Mickey was in the fucking hospital because of him. He thinks about leaving and not seeing Mickey. Maybe it was for the best.

Maybe he’s just an idiot. Yeah, that’s it. He forces himself out of the elevator and finds room 525. He stands outside the door for what seems like an eternity before he opens it and walks in.

He stops almost immediately, as he catches Mickey’s gaze. They stare at each other for a while before Ian breaks the silence.

“Hey,” he says hesitantly.

Mickey doesn’t say anything… he just smiles.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit's about to get real!!

 

 

Chapter 8

 

“I’m fine, seriously Mandy, you can go home,” Mickey begs.

She rolls her eyes one last time before getting up and walking to the door.

“Fine assface! But I’ll be back tomorrow morning okay?”

Mickey sighs but nods in agreement. It just wasn’t worth fighting with his sister… she always won anyway.

Mickey lays his head back and lets his mind wander. No matter how hard he tries, everything he thinks about reminds him of Ian. Dammit!

Everything is so fucked up. He lost his boyfriend and best friend. He now has a ‘girlfriend’ who turned out to be a good person. His siblings keep freaking out about his mental state concerning his upcoming fight and his dad, well, Mickey’s just happy that his father isn’t there to berate him for being too much of a pussy to actually kill himself.

He thinks back to the previous night, still not quite believing what he did. How could he have been so stupid? Why did he think death was the answer? Whatever it was, he’s happy that Iggy found him. He smiles, thinking about his brother.

For all his faults, Iggy is a damn good brother. And now, having saved Mickey’s life, he’s pretty sure, Iggy is the greatest person alive. But he’ll never tell him that because Iggy will never let him hear the end of it.

Suddenly, Mickey hears the door to his room open. His eyes lock on Ian’s as he hesitantly steps inside. After a long pause he hears the red head say, “Hey.”

Mickey can’t speak, too shocked to say anything, so he smiles. He can’t even describe how much he’s missed Ian. It’s like a part of him died, but is now reborn.

Ian steps closer to the bed, ending up on the right side, stopping near Mickey’s leg. They continue to stare at each other, each with so much to say but no ability to say it.

Ian can’t take the silence anymore.

“I’m sorry Mickey, I’m so fucking sorry,” he apologizes.

He takes a step closer but stops when he sees Mickey flinch. That hurts Ian but he understands it.

“I should have never left. That was stupid and selfish of me,” he continues.

“I just wanted you all to myself. I can’t share you Mickey, you mean too much to me.”

Mickey looks away when he says that, almost like it’s too difficult to hear.

“Please Mickey, say something, anything. Even if it’s that you hate me,” Ian pleads.

Mickey returns his eyes to the red head. He takes a deep breath before speaking.

“I don’t hate you Ian. I don’t know that I ever could but I am angry. Instead of listening to me or working shit out, you left. After ten years, you walked away like it was easy. How could you do that to me?” Mickey whispers.

Ian feels the tears welling up in his eyes but he forces them to stay in place.

“I thought you didn’t want me anymore,” Ian mumbles barely loud enough for Mickey to hear.

“What? How could I not want you Ian?” Mickey asks forcefully.

“You had a girlfriend Mickey! I mean, I thought you guys were gonna start picking out china patterns or some shit! I saw the way she made you laugh and the way she looked at you. I saw you kissing her and it wasn’t in front of any god damn cameras so don’t tell me I’m just being stupid!”

Ian looks away as the tears start to roll down his cheeks. Mickey’s own eyes are feeling heavy with emotion.

“Look, I never meant to hurt you but she’s a necessary evil right now. She’s my friend and I need her just as much as I need you. And I kissed her because I was nervous as fuck and I wanted to kiss you but you weren’t there, so I improvised. It didn’t feel like kissing you Ian. It wasn’t even close,” he says, looking down at his hands.

“So what now?” Ian asks.

Mickey looks up at him. “I don’t know about us. What I do know is that I have a fight in less than four months and I’ve already missed a week of training because of this shit,” he says motioning between him and Ian.

“So for now, I guess what I want is to focus on my training. That’s what I need. Can you do that?” Mickey asks.

“Yes,” Ian says in a small voice.

“I guess I’ll keep staying at my house then?” Ian asks shyly.

Mickey nods. “For now.”

Ian feels like he’s been stabbed a few dozen times, but he needs to understand what Mickey’s going through. He certainly hasn’t done anything lately to help Mickey, so he can’t expect to be forgiven immediately.

He turns and starts to walk toward the door but stops and looks at Mickey.

“You know I love you, right?” Ian asks timidly.

“Of course Ian, I love you too,” Mickey responds sincerely.

Ian gives him a weak smile and leaves the room. It’s only then that he lets the tears fall freely down his face, finally giving in to the pain.

 

***

 

The day after Mickey is released from the hospital, he forces himself to go back to the gym. The doctor told him to take it easy but he can’t afford to. He’s been out of training for a week already and he can feel his body reacting.

Ian is there, as agreed but the air between them is still very cold and strained. They go through the motions fulfilling the requirements of the workouts but it’s still lacking. They stare at each other intensely but they hardly speak.

Mickey’s siblings have noticed but so far, have kept their mouths shut. Everyone around them has been trying to focus on the upcoming fight, something Mickey is thankful for.

A few weeks later Mickey feels like himself again. His strength and his quickness are back along with his stamina. But no matter how good he feels physically, Mickey’s heart still aches, especially when he sees the red head. He knows three weeks isn’t long enough to stop loving him. He isn’t convinced he could ever stop loving him, but now being around him every day, interacting with him; it was all taking a toll on his emotions.

Mickey finds himself getting angry at Ian. Why wasn’t he fighting for Mickey? Why didn’t he want him anymore? He’s aware of what he told Ian. He knows his thoughts aren’t exactly rational but that doesn’t stop them. Every time he sees Ian talking to his siblings or smiling, he gets angry. Why does he get to move on?

How does he get to hurt him as badly as he did and still be able to laugh or act like everything was okay? It wasn’t okay. So when Svetlana comes to see him during practice, Mickey takes advantage of the opportunity to make Ian jealous. He wanted Ian to feel just as lousy as he did.

“Hey gorgeous,” he smiles and envelops her in a tight hug. She hugs him back, assuming their putting on a show for his father and not Ian.

When they break from the hug, Mickey leans in and kisses her. He looks at Ian while he does it and it becomes clear to Iggy and Mandy, what he’s doing.

Ian simply turns and walks into the locker room. Once they break from their kiss, Mickey tells Lana that he’ll call her later and sends her on her way. Before he can make it to the locker room, Mandy walks up to him and shoves him hard.

“The fuck Mandy!?” he yells at her but she doesn’t back down.

“You’re an asshole! You really think hurting Ian is gonna make you feel better?” she hisses.

“You don’t know shit!” he bites back.

“I know he still loves you. I know he talks about how badly he misses you and how he wants to get back together with you,” she informs him.

Mickey looks a little surprised by this information. If that’s how he felt then why the hell didn’t he say anything?

“I get that you miss him, but pushing him away isn’t the answer,” she sighs and leaves the gym.

He looks up and meets Iggy’s stare, only to see him shake his head disapprovingly and walk away. What the actual fuck?

He walks into the locker room and sees Ian sitting on the bench looking down at his hands.

“Hey, um, you think you can stay a little longer, I wanna work on some grappling if that’s cool?” Mickey asks hesitantly.

Ian doesn’t look up but answers, “Sure, no problem.”

Mickey nods, unsure if he should say anything else but then decides to leave instead. He goes back toward his gym equipment and steps on the treadmill. He needs to do something to clear his mind because right now, everything in there was a mess.

He runs for over an hour, finally stopping as his knees are about to give out. He looks around and realizes he’s in the gym alone. Or almost alone. He sees Ian making his way toward him.

“I thought you wanted to work on your grappling?” he asks.

Mickey tries to catch his breath before answering.

“Yeah, just give me a minute,” he says breathlessly.

Ian walks to the mat and waits for Mickey. He takes his shirt off and puts on his grappling gloves. Mickey slowly walks over, taking in the beautiful sight of Ian’s body, trying but failing to not stare. Ian smirks but immediately hides it.

Mickey then takes his sweatshirt off and also puts his gloves on. He doesn’t miss Ian’s not so subtle once over but ignores it. They’ve been working on submissions and holds so both boys start out on the floor.

The first few holds are easy for Mickey to get out of. But after a while he feels Ian being a little rougher with him, pinning him down more forcefully than before. He gets out of the hold and immediately goes to put Ian in a similar submission.

“What the fuck are you doing Mickey?” Ian barely chokes out. His face is pinned to the mat with his arms firmly held behind his back.

“I don’t know Ian, what the fuck are you doing?” Mickey growls back.

Ian senses the game that Mickey is playing but he’s not in the mood. He breaks away from the hold and reverses it, pinning Mickey down.

He can see Mickey is in pain as he pulls tighter on the other boys arms.

“I’m trying to help you train for your next fight. You… are being an asshole,” he grumbles.

That pisses Mickey off. He deftly turns his body and gets out of the hold only to clutch Ian’s left arm, putting it in an arm bar. He squeezes at the arm until finally Ian screams out in pain.

“Mickey stop!” Ian yells.

Mickey lets go and stands up angrily making his way to the locker room.

“Mickey!” he hears Ian call out to him but he keeps walking.

“Mickey, stop walking away from me!” Ian shouts as he grabs Mickey’s shoulder to turn him around.

“Oh like you should talk!” Mickey yells as he’s turned around.

“You walked away from me, remember?” he continues, shoving Ian roughly.

Ian’s expression softens when he sees the anger and hurt in Mickey’s face. He closes the distance between them and tries to put his arms around Mickey, but he’s violently shoved again.

“No! You don’t get to do that! You don’t get to pretend that you still care!” Mickey screams.

Ian attempts to hold Mickey again but is pushed away, however, this time it wasn’t as harsh. Ian tries again, undeterred by Mickey’s rejection.

“I’m sorry,” Ian whispers, forcing his hands around Mickey’s waist. Mickey makes a feeble attempt to fight him but eventually leans into the hold.

“I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you,” Ian whispers again, looking directly into Mickey’s eyes.

Mickey gives up. Ian’s eyes looking into his is too much for him to handle. He rushes forward and slams Ian against the lockers, crashing their lips in the process. Ian returns the kiss with just as much force, pushing his tongue into Mickey’s mouth.

Ian grabs Mickey by the back of the head and flips them, shoving Mickey into the lockers. He hooks Mickey’s legs underneath his arms and lifts Mickey up, leaning him against the lockers. Mickey wraps his legs around Ian’s waist as the kiss deepens. They both moan into each other’s mouths as Ian begins to grind against Mickey.

“I missed you so much,” Ian growls, latching his mouth to Mickey’s neck.

He continues to grind his hips into Mickey’s leaving him a moaning mess.

“I want you to fuck me Ian,” Mickey groans lowly.

Ian puts his arms around Mickey, holding him securely before moving toward the couch in the corner of the room. He sits down with Mickey straddling his lap. The deep kissing continues as Ian pushes Mickey’s training shorts off, revealing his round ass. He grasps it tightly giving it a firm squeeze.

Mickey abruptly stands up and shoves his shorts down, ordering Ian to do the same. Once they were both naked, Mickey resumes his position on Ian’s lap. Mickey moves his hips back and forth, capturing Ian’s dick between his ass cheeks. It’s enough to make Ian’s head fall back against the couch.

Ian opens his eyes and places two of his fingers inside Mickey’s mouth, watching as he sucks on them eagerly. Once he removes them from Mickey’s mouth, he promptly places them inside of Mickey’s ass. The dark haired boy throws his head back and moans loudly at the intrusion.

He starts to fuck himself on the fingers as he slowly strokes his own cock. Ian curves the fingers in search of that bundle of nerves and knows he’s found it when Mickey’s breath catches.

“Fuck Ian,” Mickey whispers.

Ian keeps opening him up until Mickey can’t take it anymore and begs for Ian to fuck him. Ian lines up his dick and watches Mickey slowly sink down, both men relishing the burn.

He starts out slow at first but then finds a vigorous pace. Ian stares with his mouth open as Mickey bounces up and down on his dick. He’s missed this. It’s been almost two months since they properly had sex.

Ian tries not to think about the night he forced himself on Mickey. He tries but he can’t.

“I’m sorry Mickey, I’m so sorry,” Ian finds himself panting.

Mickey captures his lips, effectively shutting him up. Mickey feels himself on the edge and he hasn’t even touched himself yet. Ian fucks up into him but starts to lose rhythm, signaling that he’s close too.

Suddenly Ian grabs Mickey and flips them, laying him down on the couch, before crawling on top of him. He enters him again, eliciting a loud moan from Mickey. Ian thrusts hard and fast into Mickey, forcing both of them to lose their minds.

“Jesus Fuck!” Mickey pants, securing his hold on Ian with his hands around his neck.

“I’m gonna cum Mickey!” Ian shouts, forcing himself even deeper into Mickey.

Mickey takes his dick in his hands and quickly pumps it. It only takes a half dozen strokes before he’s arching his back and coming between their bodies.

Ian continues to fuck Mickey until he finally comes inside of him, collapsing from the exertion. They both stay there, not moving, willing their breathing to return to normal.

Finally Ian sits up on his elbows and looks down at the man below him. Mickey looks up at Ian’s face, almost like he’s searching for something. He cups Ian’s jaw, softly brushing Ian’s cheek with his thumb. Ian leans into the touch and closes his eyes. When he opens them he sees a tear run down Mickey’s face.

He’s about to ask him what’s wrong when Mickey connects their lips and kisses him deeply.

“Don’t… don’t leave me again Ian. Promise me,” Mickey whispers once they break away.

“I promise, I won’t leave ever again,” Ian says, his voice breaking slightly. They continue to kiss, not caring in the slightest about where they were or that fact that someone could walk in at any moment. Right then, what they were doing was all that mattered. Mickey finally felt whole again. He had everything he wanted but there was still one obstacle in his way. One obstacle that he needed to be rid of.

Terry…


	9. Chapter 9

 

Chapter 9

 

 

“Jesus Fuck,” Mickey exclaims as the incessant pounding on the door continues.

Ian rolls over and clutches at Mickey’s waist. “Don’t, they’ll go away eventually,” Ian says, nuzzling at Mickey’s neck.

But the knocking continues. Fed up, Mickey climbs out of bed, puts on a random pair of sweats and stalks to the front door.

“Whoever this is, someone better be dying!” Mickey yells as he gets closer to the door.

Mickey opens the door and instantly scowls. Svetlana pushes her way into the apartment, clearly on a mission and devoid of manners.

“What the fuck Lana?” Mickey says walking after her into the living room.

“We have big problem!” she says quickly.

Just then Ian enters the room, wearing only boxers and a goofy smile. Svetlana smirks at him and then returns her eyes to Mickey.

“I see you two finally pull heads out of ass, yes?” she snorts and then looks at Ian again.

“Thank god because whole time you are apart, Mickey turn into total asshole,” she continues, “No fun at all!”

Ian grins at Mickey but keeps his mouth shut as Mickey just glares at Svetlana.

“You said something about a big problem?” Mickey asks impatiently.

She rolls her eyes and takes a seat on the couch. The boys join her, Mickey next to her and Ian perched on the arm of the sofa.

“I’m pregnant,” she whispers, eyes staring at the ground.

Mickey’s eyes widen but it’s Ian who reacts verbally.

“What the fuck Mickey? You told me you never fucked her!” Ian yells, standing up, grabbing Mickey’s arm in the process.

Mickey rolls his eyes at his ridiculous boyfriend, pushing him back gently.

“I didn’t fuck her!” Mickey replies, looking at Lana for confirmation.

She shoots Mickey a ‘Is he serious look?’ to which he nods in response.

“We do not have sex,” she confirms. “Baby belongs to other man.”

Mickey turns back toward her. “Hey that means you cheated on me!” he says incredulously.

Ian shoves his shoulder at that statement.

“Oh yeah, sorry,” he mutters, making Ian laugh.

“Can we focus please!?” Lana says exasperated.

Both boys mumble apologies and sit back down.

“What do we tell Terry?” she asks.

Shit, Mickey hadn’t thought about his father in weeks. Now he has to figure out how to confront him.

“We should probably break up, don’t you think?” Mickey asks hesitantly but it’s Ian who answers.

“And what do you think Terry will do when he finds out she’s pregnant, because he will find out.”

Mickey looks between Lana and Ian, unsure of how to answer that.

“Fuck,” Mickey whispers.

Lana seems confused. “What do you mean?”

Mickey answers, “If he finds out you “cheated”, he’ll kill you. If he thinks it’s mine, he’ll probably force us to get married or something crazy like that.”

All three sigh at the same time. Damn.

“I’m sorry, I do not mean for this to happen,” she tells Mickey, on the verge of tears.

“Hey don’t worry. I’ll talk to him okay? Everything will be fine, I’m not gonna let him hurt you,” Mickey reassures her, taking her hand in his.

“ _We_ won’t let him hurt you,” Ian adds throwing Mickey an understanding look.

Svetlana nods and looks down at her hands.

“Do you know who the father is?” Mickey inquires.

“Yes, he is nice man. He will be good father to baby,” she replies.

Mickey shoots her a small smile.

Svetlana smiles back and stands up, making her way to the door with both boys following her. She leans in and gives Mickey a peck on the cheek but then surprises Ian by giving him one too. As they close the door, Ian sighs and closes his eyes.

“What the fuck are we gonna do?” Ian asks.

Mickey shakes his head. “No fucking clue.”

Mickey literally has no idea what to do. His dad is going to find out that Lana is pregnant and when he does, he’ll probably be happy if he thinks it’s Mickey’s. But Mickey won’t do that to Lana. He needs to break up with her but make sure she’s safe.

Ian and Mickey discuss the issue at length and decide it would be best to tell Terry in person, at the gym, surrounded by a lot of people/witnesses. If Mickey was going to defy his father, he needed back up. Mickey immediately calls Iggy and Mandy and informs them of the plan.

 

***

 

To say that Mickey is nervous is the understatement of the century. He knows he has to do this but he isn’t sure how.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” asks Mandy.

Mickey doesn’t answer, but nods and then walks toward the corner of the gym where his father is talking to another fighter from Mickeys team.

“Hey Mickey, I was just telling Tyler here that you two should start sparring together. You know, get some real training?” His dad informs him.

“Dad I already have a training partner,” Mickey murmurs back, obviously annoyed.

“That fag is not a real fighter Mickey! You need to train with a professional now!” Terry snarls pointing at Ian across the gym.

“Don’t fucking call him that!” Mickey growls back.

Tyler looks especially uncomfortable standing awkwardly between the two men.

Terry looks like he’s about to say something but Mickey jumps in.

“Svetlana and I broke up,” he says quickly, staring his father down.

It’s now or never, he thinks. He waits for the yelling and the screaming but it doesn’t come. His father is quiet, almost too quiet and it’s starting to freak Mickey out. Then Terry smiles.

“So go fix it, apologize for whatever the fuck you did and get her back,” Terry says in a surprisingly calm manner.

“No,” Mickey answers just as calmly.

“What did you say?” Terry asks quirking an eyebrow in surprise.

“I said no. She’s…she’s pregnant and it’s not mine,” Mickey says defiantly.

Terry’s eyes widen at the information.

“You let that whore cheat on you?!” Terry bellows.

Tyler has now stepped away from the father and son, as more of the people in the gym turn to see what the commotion is.

“She’s not a whore! And she didn’t cheat on me because we were never really going out!” Mickey yells.

Terry’s reaction is one of pure disgust and anger. He lunges at Mickey and pushes him hard into the wall.

‘You fucking piece of shit!” he snarls, putting his hands over Mickey’s throat.

He squeezes tightly, forcing Mickey’s eyes into the back of his head. But just as suddenly Mickey feels the hands loosen and he’s finally able to catch his breath.

He opens his eyes and sees Iggy and Tyler wrestling Terry to the ground. Ian rushes over to Mickey and grabs his face.

“Are you okay?” Ian asks desperately.

Mickey nods and continues to catch his breath. He and Ian look over to Terry, still fighting on the ground as more and more people hold him down.

“Let go of me! You don’t know who the fuck you’re dealing with!” he screams in anger.

“Let him go,” Mickey says calmly.

Ian looks at him in surprise, as do many of the faces around him.

“Let him go,” Mickey repeats.

Once Terry is freed he gives a smug look to those around him.

He looks back at Mickey and notices Ian, Iggy, Mandy and others standing behind him.

“Get out,” Mickey demands.

“What did you say to me boy?” Terry growls.

“He said get out,” Iggy answers.

Terry looks at him and then at Mandy who scowls back at her father. He then notices Mickey, as he grabs a hold of Ian’s hand and intertwines their fingers.

“You’d choose that pole smoking queer over your own father,  after everything I’ve done for you?” Terry angrily yells.

“I love him. I don’t give a shit about you,” Mickey answers simply.

“And you didn’t do anything for me! I did this and I did it because of him and Iggy and Mandy but not because of you!” Mickey finishes.

Terry huffs and surveys the room before turning and walking out the front door. Mickey sighs and Ian releases a breath he didn’t even know he was holding as he tightens his grip on Mickey’s hand.

“I love you,” Ian whispers into Mickey’s ear. Mickey turns and their foreheads meet.

“I love you too,” he grins back.

They both pull apart and notice that all eyes are on them. Mandy smiles wide while Iggy smirks. Mickey’s attention is now on the six or so people from his team staring at him and Ian.

“Um yeah, so I’m gay. And Ian and I are together so…” Mickey mumbles shyly.

“I’m not surprised. Are you surprised?” Tyler asks the room.

Everyone laughs in return and shakes their heads.  

“So you knew?” Mickey asks Tyler.

“You guys aren’t exactly subtle,” Tyler smirks looking between Ian and Mickey.

Both boys blush and their grins intensify.

“But look man, if it’s a problem or whateve-” Mickey starts to say but Tyler cuts him off.

“Nope. Not a problem Mickey. You’re my teammate, that doesn’t change,” Tyler confirms.

“Thanks,” Mickey replies, genuinely relieved.

Mickey finally told his father the truth and stood up to him. He knows it’s not over, Terry would never back down so easily. But he knows that whatever comes, he’ll have Ian, Mandy, Iggy and a bunch of other people to back him up.

Bring it on Terry…


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I had to...

Chapter 10

 

2 months later…

“Mick?” Ian calls out.

He’s at the gym after hours grabbing some things he forgot from his locker. It’s late and he knows no one should be there. He hears the noise again and drops his bag to go investigate. He walks out of the locker room, toward the office when he calls out again.

“Mickey? Iggy?” No response.

Ian is about to get his phone out of his pocket, when he’s hit from behind. He falls forward but his hands stop him from hitting the floor. He sits on his hands and knees, slightly disoriented. He looks up and sees four men surrounding him.

“What the fu-” he tries to say but is hit again. When he falls forward, he feels a baseball bat across his back. This time he lands flat on his stomach. His body is on fire, his ribs aching, his head throbbing. He attempts to get up, to fight back, but there’s too many of them.

He feels a fist connect with his jaw at the same time as the bat connects with his leg. He knows at least two of the men are actively hitting him. Then the third joins in. The fourth man just stands there, holding his phone out. Ian realizes he’s filming this.

They continue their assault until Ian stops moving. His left eye is closing shut, blood running down his face and arms. He knows at least a few ribs are broken, possibly his ankle, definitely his hand. He’s having a hard time focusing his eyes, so he closes them. He can hear the men whispering and before he knows what’s happening, they’re ripping his shirt off and flipping him onto his stomach. One of them places their knee on Ian’s neck, effectively holding him down. He notices another man holding his legs down.

Ian doesn’t know what they’re doing until he feels the heat of a blade against his back. He cries out, but his body has lost the energy to make sound. He screws his eyes shut and balls up his fists. He feels each cut slice through him, blood pouring out across his back. He no longer notices the pain, his body numb from the trauma, his thoughts fuzzy and unclear. His breathing is shallow and uneven. His heart beat slows down as his mind takes him to thoughts of Mickey.

He just wants Mickey. Then he sees black.

 

***

Mickey and Mandy are laughing at some stupid story that Iggy is telling back at Mickey’s apartment.

“I swear to god officer, I thought it was woman!” he squeals.

Mandy is on the floor cracking up, holding her side from the pain of the laughter. Mickey just grins from the couch, staring dubiously at his brother. Oh the dumb shit Iggy says.

His mind wonders for a second to Ian. He was supposed to be home by now. He grabs his phone and dials his boyfriend only to have it immediately go to voicemail. Ian always answered, especially for Mickey. Even when they are fighting, they know to always answer the phone, so the other person doesn’t have to worry.

“Mickey, what’s wrong?” Mandy asks, recovering from her outburst, noticing the solemn look on her brothers face.

“What? Nothing, just… Ian should have been home by now, that’s all,” he answers.

“I’m sure he’s fine. C’mon, have a beer and quit worrying!” Mandy consoles.

“Mandy you know I don’t drink when I’m in training!” Mickey bites back. A beer did sound really good though, but Mickey’s always been pretty disciplined during his training. He treats drinking as his reward _after_ a fight.

Mandy is dangling the damn beer bottle in front of him like a carrot and just as he’s about to give in, his phone vibrates. Saved by the bell.

He looks down and sees a message from a blocked number. He opens the message and finds a video labeled boyfriend. Mickey’s heart begins to race. No one is supposed to know about his relationship with Ian. Only Mandy, Iggy, Svetlana and a few others. So what the fuck could this be? Did his father do something or tell someone?

He presses play on the video and his breath catches as he sees the outside of the gym. A few seconds later, he sees Ian being assaulted by three guys. Mickey’s heart stops. He flies off the couch, grabs his cars keys and runs to the door.

He can hear Iggy and Mandy running behind him but he doesn’t care. He just needs to get to Ian… now.

They all climb into the car, Mandy and Iggy still bombarding Mickey with questions. Mandy knows it’s serious. She knows that look on Mickey’s face.

“Mickey what the fuck is going on?” Mandy yells.

Mickey tosses the phone to her and listens to her gasp as she watches the footage.

“Oh my god!” she says over and over.

The siblings reach the gym in record time, breaking a few driving laws in the process. Mickey rushes inside but stops dead in his tracks at the sight before him. Iggy and Mandy stop right behind him. Mickey’s mouth hangs open as tears prick his eyes. He can hear Mandy crying behind him.

Ian’s lifeless body is hanging on the side of the boxing ring. His hands tied to the top rope, his back facing the siblings. His head lays against the middle rope, eyes closed, blood dripping down his body. It’s only then that Mickey notices the word carved into Ian’s back.

‘FAGGOT’

Iggy rushes over to Ian and attempts to free his hands. Mickey just stands and stares, too shocked to move.

“Mickey! Help me!” Iggy shouts.

Mickey breaks from his thoughts and runs over to his brother. Once they free Ian from his restraints, they hear him stir and speak.

“Mickey?” Ian whispers as they place him gently on the floor.

His eyes flutter open, searching for his boyfriend. Mickey cradles his head and leans down.

“I’m right here Ian. I’m right here,” Mickey’s voice breaks as he speaks. Tears now run down his face.

“I’m sorry Ian, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t here to protect you. Ian, please,” Mickey continues.

“Open your eyes, please keep them open.”

Mickey cries into Ian’s shoulder, hugging the man he loves tightly. Ian looks him straight in the eyes.

“I wanna go…home… Mickey,” Ian quietly chokes out, blood mixing with saliva.

“I don’t want to… to be here. Please… Mickey I wanna go home. Lets… go home,” Ian sputters between coughing up blood.

Mickey continues his cries, “Ian, you’re gonna be alright. We’re gonna go home soon okay baby? Look at me, I’m gonna take you home.”

Just then Ian closes his eyes and his head falls back.

“Ian?! Ian! No no no no no! Ian! Open your eyes! Please baby, please open your eyes! Ian!”

Mickey is screaming at this point shaking Ian’s body. Iggy looks at his brother through his own tears. He’s never seen Mickey so broken, not even when Ian left. Not like this.

“Don’t do this to me! Ian please! Don’t leave me!” Mickey sobs as he holds on tighter.

Mandy walks over to them and whispers in Iggy’s ear, “The ambulance is on its way.”

Iggy nods. She kneels down next to Mickey and places an arm over his shoulders, rubbing small circles on his back. They don’t say anything to their brother. They simply let him cry until he can’t anymore. Mickey cradles Ian’s body, rocking him back and forth like a child until the paramedics arrive.

He whispers over and over, “I love you, I love you, Don’t leave me, I love you.”

***

At the hospital, Iggy deals with the paperwork and Mandy calls Ian’s family. Mickey just stares at Ian as he lies lifeless on the bed. His body is bandaged, his wounds have been cleaned but he still looks awful. The doctors inform Mickey that Ian has three broken ribs, a fractured jaw, a broken wrist, a dislocated shoulder and a broken leg. He had internal injuries but the doctors were able to stop the bleeding. Thankfully the cuts on his back weren’t as deep as they thought, so they should heal on their own.

Mickey feels numb, like he’s in a dream. The voices of people speaking to him sound muffled and far away. He couldn’t do anything. All this time, he swore to protect Ian and he failed him. He failed the one person he loved most. Mickey wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to forgive himself for that.

Fiona is the first Gallagher to arrive. She races toward the room but is stopped by Iggy.

“Where is he? Where’s my brother?” she asks frantically.

“He’s in room 811, Mickey’s with him,” Iggy replies. “Please Fiona, please don’t blame this on Mickey.”

Fiona rolls her eyes but Iggy grabs her by the arm and stares straight into her eyes.

“I mean it! This was not his fault! He’s a fucking wreck, he’s falling apart and I…” Iggy takes a breath before his tears consume him, “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help him.”

Fiona’s expression softens as she reaches for Iggy’s hand.

“We’re all family right? We can get through this,” she says smiling weakly at Iggy.

He lets go of her arm and shows her to the room. She hesitates but slowly walks in. Mickey doesn’t even look up as she enters. Iggy was right, she thinks. Mickey looks almost as bad as Ian.

“Mickey?” she asks quietly.

He doesn’t say anything or acknowledge her in any way. He just keeps staring at Ian.

Fiona can feel the tears in her eyes as she takes in the sight of her little brother. He’s surrounded by machines and tubes. His leg and wrist are in casts, his face is black and blue.

Mickey flinches when Fiona puts a hand on his shoulder. He looks at her, only now realizing she was in the room. She looks at him with sad eyes. Mickey doesn’t say anything but allows her hand to remain on his shoulder. Finally after a few minutes, he speaks.

“I failed him. You told me to protect him and I couldn’t,” Mickey whispers, trembling slightly. It’s only then that Fiona notices the tears falling down his face.

“This is my fault. I did this to him,” he continues.

Fiona’s expression changes to one of confusion.

“What do you mean? This wasn’t your fault Mickey,” she implores.

“Yes it was,” he says simply.

“The people who did this, wanted me to lose my shit, to fall apart two weeks before one of the biggest fights of my life!” Mickey yells.

He stands up and faces her. “Don’t you get it? This was my fault! This happened because of me! He almost died because of…me!”

Fiona does the only thing she can think of. She grabs on to Mickey and hugs him tightly, ignoring his protests. Mickey finally gives in and hugs her back. He lets go and allows his tears to flow freely. They stay like that for a few minutes before Mickey pushes her away.  

Mickey looks at her intently but then walks away. Outside the room, Iggy notices his brother and runs up to him.

“Mickey, where are you going?” Iggy asks.

Mickey doesn’t stop walking but answers his brother, “Where do you think? I know who did this Iggy.”

Iggy realizes what Mickey is about to do and clutches his arm before they reach the elevator.

“Get off me Iggy!” Mickey growls.

But Iggy just holds on tighter.

“I get that you’re angry. I get that Ian almost died but he didn’t. And what he needs right now is you! So don’t go running off to kill whoever the fuck did this and get your ass back into that room! He needs you Mickey!” Iggy screams, not caring about the nurses staring at them.

Iggy has never spoken to Mickey like that. Mickey sees the sincerity in his eyes. He slumps his shoulders in defeat and walks back to the room with Iggy at his side. Iggy turns to him before Mickey walks in.

“Let me deal with the assholes that did this okay? Let me do that for you,” he says in a hushed tone.

Mickey nods and turns around. He knows what Iggy is going to do. He isn’t going to kill anyone, that’s not his style. He will however find out everything he can about the people that did this to Ian because to Iggy, information is power. And over the years, Iggy has made a lot of friends in powerful places. So for now, Mickey will let his brother handle this.

For now…


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is by Eminem and it's called "I am phenomenal". It was written for the movie Southpaw, which is a boxing movie. Writing this chapter reminded me of the song, so feel free to play it as you read this. Its also Mickey's entrance music :)

Chapter 11

 

_I am phenomenal_

_With every ounce of my blood_

_With every breath of my lungs_

_Won’t stop until I’m phenomenal_

_I am phenomenal_

_However long that it takes_

_I’ll go to whatever lengths_

_It’s gonna make me a monster though_

_I am phenomenal_

_But I never say, ‘Oh it’s impossible’_

_‘Cause I’m gonna be phenomenal_

_-Eminem_

**One week before the fight…**

Mickey listens to the music blaring in his ear buds as his fists unleash hell on the punching bag. He’s thrown himself into his training, determined to focus on that instead of thinking about Ian, who is still in the hospital.

He’s due to be released from the hospital a few days before the fight but Mickey can’t bear himself to see him. He’s been staying at Iggy’s apartment since it happened. It was Iggy’s idea so that he could keep an eye on Mickey, make sure he didn’t do anything stupid.

Iggy takes his gaze away from his brother when he spots Tyler walking toward him.

“How’s he doing?” Tyler asks.

“He’s okay, I think. Wants to focus on the fight you know?” Iggy responds.

Tyler nods and both men continue to look at Mickey.

“What about at home?” Tyler questions.

Iggy shake his head.

“He barely speaks. I hear him crying at night. Usually when he thinks I’m asleep. I want to ask him about it, you know, help if I can, but I know he’ll just shut down,” Iggy explains.

“You sure you know what you’re doing?  I mean, why not just tell him that you know who hurt Ian?” Tyler questions in a hushed voice.

“Not yet Tyler. I’ll tell him when it’s time, but not yet,” he answers.

 

***

**3 days prior…**

“Well? What did you find out?” Iggy asks impatiently, taking a long drag from his cigarette.

“Hey calm down okay? This wasn’t exactly easy information to get my hands on,” Tony growls.

“Sorry man, this whole thing, it’s just. It’s eating away at my brother. I gotta make this right,” Iggy implores.

Tony nods and looks around the alley before handing Iggy a folder. Iggy met Tony in juvie a few years back. He learned that Tony’s family had connections with the mob. Tony’s mother, Olivia, was the niece of one of the most powerful men in all of Chicago, Nicolai Sperenzi.

Nothing happened in Chicago without Nicolai knowing about it. So naturally when all of this happened with Mickey and Ian, Iggy knew he had to go to the people who knew everything.

Iggy looks inside the folder and instantly feels himself getting angry. There are pictures along with a lengthy series of notes and details.

“Those pieces of shit!” Iggy snarls.

He looks up at Tony, closes the folder and grabs an envelope from his pocket.

“Good looking out man, thanks,” Iggy says handing the envelope to Tony.

Tony nods and turns to walk away but then stops and turns back.

“Any chance I can get tickets to this fight? I have a feeling I’m going to want to see this,” he grins.

“Anything for a friend,” Iggy smiles back.

 

***

**2 days before the fight…**

When Ian is released from the hospital, it’s the Gallaghers who come pick him up… much to his disappointment. He loves his family but right now the only person he wants to see is Mickey.

“Hey Ian, how are you feeling?” Debbie asks in her usual motherly tone.

She certainly has picked up a lot of things from Fiona.

“I’m okay,” Ian whispers as he tries to walk awkwardly on one leg. He grabs the cane from Lip’s hand and attempts to walk again.  

Lip helps his brother into the car he borrowed from his girlfriend. Once they’re on their way, a cold silence fills the air. Lip and Debbie share glances at each other, both unsure of what to say.

“Where’s Mickey?” Ian asks softly.

“He’s at the gym Ian. He’s been training pretty hard lately,” Lip informs.

Ian just looks down at his hands in defeat. All he wanted to do was see Mickey but it sounded like the fight was more important. He tries to hide the hurt look on his face but fails. He stares out the car window and realizes they’re not going to his apartment.

“Where are we going?” he asks a little louder this time.

“Home,” Deb answers simply.

“But the apartment is in the other direction,” Ian stresses.

Lip and Debbie share a glance again before Lip speaks.

“We thought it would be best if you came back home, just until you get better.”

Ian’s expression darkens.

“I don’t want to go to your house, I want to be home with Mickey,” Ian says, clearly agitated.

“Mickey isn’t at the apartment,” Debbie tells him.

Before he can say anything she speaks again.

“He’s at Iggy’s place. He wanted to focus on the fight,” she finishes.

Ian doesn’t say anything else. He’s too angry and he’s afraid he’ll blow up on his siblings if he speaks. How could Mickey do this to him? After everything they’ve been through? Ian was back to feeling like Mickey cared more about fighting than him.

When they make it to the house, Ian is quick to hobble out and race inside. Carl and Liam attempt to talk to Ian as he walks in, but he ignores them.

He clumsily makes his way up the stairs and into his old room. He doesn’t acknowledge the hugs and praises from his siblings. He simply wants to lie down and go to sleep. He looks up at the ceiling of his old room and then closes his eyes.

Why wasn’t Mickey there?

 

***

 

“Is he okay?” Mickey asks his brother.

“Yeah Ian’s fine. Lip and Debbie picked him up earlier,” Iggy informs him.

Mickey grabs his gym bag and heads for the door but before he reaches it, he’s stopped by his brother.

“He isn’t at the apartment,” Iggy tells him.

“Why? Where is he?” Mickey inquires.

Iggy gently pushes him to the side and speaks quietly.

“He’s at the Gallaghers. They’re gonna take care of him before the fight,” Iggy says.

Mickey simply looks confused.

“Why? I can take care of him. I’m supposed to take care of him!” Mickey yells, clearly annoyed by this conversation.

Iggy simply shoves him back into the corner and whispers menacingly.

“Your job is to win this fight and kick Edgar’s ass. That’s what you need to focus on, not Ian!”

Mickey looks at Iggy like he has two heads.

“I don’t give a shit about this fight Iggy. I care about Ian!” Mickey growls back.

Iggy doesn’t let up and continues to hold Mickey in the corner.

“If you care about him, you’ll win this fight!” Iggy grits through clenched teeth.

“What is it with you?! Why the fuck do you care so much about this fucking fight?!” Mickey yells, shoving his brother away.

He grabs his bag and makes his way to the front door again.

“Because it was him Mickey! It was Edgar and his crew, they hurt Ian,” Iggy explains.

Mickey stops when he hears that and turns around. He looks right at his brother, anger clearly painted on his face.

“What?” Mickey asks in a shocked tone.

“I told you I would find out who did it. Dad got in touch with Edgar and his crew a few weeks ago. Apparently he told them about you and Ian. He said that if Edgar wanted to beat you, he would have to fuck with your head and hurting Ian was the way to do it,” he says.

Mickey tries to process what he’s just heard but is having a hard time. He knew his father was capable of some ugly shit but this was taking it too far. Iggy walks toward his brother and places his arm around Mickey’s shoulders.

“Look at me,” Iggy orders.

Mickey complies and looks at his brother.

“You can do this. You can beat him but I need you here. I need you focused, okay Mickey?” Iggy asks.

Mickey nods in agreement. As much as he wants to see Ian, he knows he needs to do this first.

 

***

**Day before the fight…**

“Be cool Mickey, don’t let on that you know, got it?” Iggy instructs.

Mickey nods but he’s clearly pissed off. They’re at the official weigh in and it’s taking all of Mickey’s energy not to go homicidal on Edgar. He watches him with bated breath, like a lion staking his prey. All he can think about is Ian. How Edgar hurt the only person in this world that Mickey loves. He thinks back to the night he thought he lost Ian.

There was no way he was losing Ian. Never again. He looks around the room and curses under his breath. Too many witnesses. He sighs and chooses instead to focus on the weigh in.

“First up, the current lightweight UFC champion, Edgar ‘the fury’ Morales,” announces the referee. Edgar steps on the scale, grins big and shows off his muscles, much to the adoration of the crowd. When he steps off, he brushes past Mickey.

“Don’t pussy out faggot,” Edgar spits at Mickey.

Mickey immediately shoves Edgar. “What the fuck did you say?” Mickey snarls. The referee and some team managers come and put some distance between the two. Edgar just smiles, happy that he’s getting to Mickey.

“Well it looks like there’s a little tension between our two fighters,” the referee jokes.

“And our challenger, with a 3-0 record, Mickey ‘vicious’ Milkovich!”

Mickey steps up to the scale and steps off as soon as his weight is read and recorded. He doesn’t say another word to anyone including the many reporters that are asking him about tomorrow. Mickey needs to get out of there. He wishes he could see Ian.

 

***

 

 “Ian?” he hears Fiona say.

She knocks on his door again and steps inside. Frustrated, Ian rolls over and faces the wall.

“What?” he says flatly.

“Dinner’s ready, aren’t you hungry?” she asks.

“M’not hungry,” Ian mumbles like a petulant child.

Fiona rolls her eyes at him and walks closer to the bed.

“Ian you need to eat. You gotta keep your strength up,” she says in a motherly tone.

Ian rolls over and gives Fiona a glare.

“I’m. Not. Hungry.” he spits out.

“What do you think Mickey would say right now?” she asks.

Ian glares turns homicidal.

“I don’t know Fiona, he’s not here!” Ian growls.

She gives him a pitiful look and leaves the room. As soon as she’s gone, Ian reaches for his phone on his night stand and dials.

“Please pick up,” he mutters to himself.

“Ian?” he hears.

“Hey Mandy, is Mickey there?” he begs.

“Um… no Ian, he’s not here,” she says quietly.

“Mandy what’s going on?” Ian pleads.

“Look I can’t talk right now, can I stop by tomorrow?” she asks hopefully.

“Sure” Ian mumbles, defeated.

He hangs up and throws the phone across the room. What the fuck was going on? Why was everyone treating him like he was going to break? Why didn’t Mickey want to see him? Why were all the Milkoviches acting like Ian did something wrong?

 

***

 

**Day of the fight…**

“Ian, Mandy’s here,” he hears Fiona shout.

He reluctantly gets out of bed and throws on a pair of sweats. As he walks down the stairs he can hear Lip, Fiona and Mandy whispering. When they see him, they stop and turn to meet his eyes.

“What were you guys talking about?” Ian asks.

“Nothing,” Lip is quick to say.

Ian rolls his eyes. He’s had it.

“Alright, I’ve had enough of this shit! I’m not gonna fucking break so one of you better tell me what the fuck is going on!” he shouts loud enough for the neighbors to hear.

Mandy looks at Fiona and Lip, motioning with her hands that she’ll take care of it.

“Let’s talk upstairs okay Ian?” she says softly.

As soon as they reach the room, Ian starts to pace, well he tries to with his leg brace on.

“What the fuck Mandy? Where’s Mickey? Why won’t anyone let me see him?!”

“Ian, just sit down, please,” Mandy says calmly.

He finally relents and sits on the bed. Mandy takes a seat next to him.

“Is he mad at me? Did I do something wrong?” Ian asks weakly.

Mandy smiles at Ian’s adorableness.

“He’s not mad at you Ian. But he needs to focus on this fight,” Mandy starts but before she can continue Ian cuts her off.

“Why? Why is this fight more important than me?” Ian asks, fully aware of how needy he sounds.

“This fight isn’t more important than you. This fight is about you,” she states.

Ian looks at her, clearly flustered. He doesn’t understand any of this. Why would this fight be about him?

“The guys who beat you up, they’re part of Edgar’s crew,” she informs him.

“What?” Ian asks perplexed.

Mandy takes a deep breath.

“It was Terry. This was all his doing,” she says quietly, not wanting to meet Ian’s stare.

“So why didn’t Mickey want to see me?” Ian asks.

“You know how much Mickey loves you. He wanted to see you, he really did,” Mandy says.

“But he needed to concentrate on the fight. He wants to do this Ian, for you,” she states.

“So he beats Edgar up, then what? That’s it? I don’t get a say in this? It was my bones they broke. It was my back they carved up!” Ian shouts, getting off the bed and turning to face Mandy.

“Ian-”

“No! You know what? I’ve had it with this shit!” he screams, making his way down the stairs. Lip and Fiona are waiting in the kitchen.

“And you two, fuck you for keeping this from me!” he yells at his siblings.

“Ian we were only trying to-” Fiona starts.

“I don’t give a shit what you thought you were doing!” Ian growls, trying to open the back door.

Mandy clutches his arm.

“Ian stop! I’ll take you to Mickey okay? Just stop,” she pleads.

Ian finally calms down at the mention of Mickey. He needs to see him, why can’t they understand that?

“We’ll all go,” Lip says, grabbing his keys off the counter.

Ian glares harshly at him and Lip takes a step back.

“Or take my car,” he says, tossing the keys the Mandy.

“C’mon Ian,” she says, pushing him out the door.

The car ride is mostly silent. Ian just stares out the window, trying to calm himself down. He hasn’t seen Mickey for almost two weeks and he feels like he’s ready to burst.

Once they reach the arena, Ian practically jumps out and hobbles over to the athlete area. Mandy flashes her access badge and leads Ian to Mickey’s room. She knocks lightly and opens the door.

“Hey I said I didn’t want to be disturbed!” Mickey yells from a room off to the side. He walks out and sees his sister. He relaxes but still looks perturbed.

“I know you don’t want to be bothered but-” Mandy doesn’t even get to finish as Ian enters the room. He locks eyes with Mickey and Mandy takes that as her queue to leave.

Mickey looks at Ian, studying him, taking in his leg brace and hand cast. Ian rakes his eyes over Mickey, appreciating the view of his boyfriend. Even with a shirt on, Mickey Milkovich makes Ian weak in the knees.

They don’t say anything for a while, they just stare at each other.

Finally Mickey breaks the spell.

“What are you doing here?” he whispers.

Ian looks hurt.

“You don’t want me here?” he asks, taking a hesitant step back.

Mickey quickly stops him and crashes their lips together. Ian leans into him and grabs Mickey’s head, deepening the kiss. Mickey’s hands start to roam over Ian’s body, finally settling on his waist. He moans into the kiss, pushing Ian toward the wall. When he breaks the kiss, he looks into Ian’s eyes.

“I’ll always want you with me,” he whispers.

Ian smiles down at him and re-connects their lips. A few moments later, the boys hear a knock on the door.

“Mickey, show time!” Iggy shouts as he cautiously walks in.

Iggy grins at the pair before walking over to them. “Hey Ian,” Iggy greets.

Ian smiles back, keeping his hands on Mickey’s waist.

“You ready bro?” Iggy asks.

“Fuck yes,” Mickey declares.

“Alright, let’s do it!” Iggy exclaims, making his way to the door.

“I’ll wait here,” Ian whispers but Mickey grabs his hand.

“Walk out with me,” Mickey says softly.

Ian’s eyes widen.

“You… you sure?” Ian asks, dumbfounded.

Mickey just grins and squeezes his hand.

“Let’s go,” Mickey says, leading Ian out of the room and into the arena. As they reach the opening to the stadium, Mickey lets go of Ian’s hand and stands in front of him, alone, as is customary. Once his entrance music starts, Mickey slowly makes his way to the ring with Iggy and Ian following closely behind. When he reaches the ring he takes his shirt off and lets a referee examine him as he explains the rules of the match. But when Iggy is about to put his mouth guard in, Mickey stops him and gets in front of Ian.

Ian isn’t sure what’s happening. There are so many people and tv cameras everywhere that he’s confused by Mickey’s behavior. All eyes are on them.

Mickey stares at Ian briefly before whispering in his ear.

“I love you Ian.”

He looks at Ian again, cupping his face and kisses him hard in front of everyone. The spectators are cheering, the reporters seem both stunned and confused and Iggy just grins from ear to ear.

Mickey lets go of Ian, who is now smiling like an idiot, and makes his way up to the cage. Iggy puts in his mouth guard and once inside the ring, Mickey gives Edgar the most menacing glare he can. He looks straight up murderous and for a brief moment, Edgar seems genuinely terrified.

He’s fucked with the wrong guy.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay...

Chapter 12

 

Mickey isn’t even paying attention to what the referee is saying. His eyes are glued to Edgar. Finally their gloves touch and the men retreat to their respective corners. As soon as the bell dings, Mickey lunges at Edgar, throwing a fierce left hook.

Edgar seems a bit thrown but recovers quickly and kicks Mickey’s knee, making him fall. Once on his hands and knees, Mickey quickly grabs Edgar’s leg and forces him to fall backward. Mickey falls back onto his knees and begins to punch at Edgar’s head over and over. He can see that it’s taking a toll but it’s still not enough. He continues his assault until the sound of the bell stops him. He makes his way over to his corner and sits on the stool that Iggy has brought him.

“You’re doing good Mickey. Keep the momentum up and watch out for his jab, got it?” Iggy says as he pours water over Mickey face. Mickey simply nods and stands back up, determined as ever. He’s practically growling when the bell dings again. He charges at Edgar and begins to unleash a fury of punches, most of which are connecting.

Mickey pushes him toward the side of the cage. Edgar pushes back and is able to get enough distance between them to throw a vicious jab right to Mickey’s jaw. Mickey falls back and is instantly shrouded by the older man. After a few more punches connect, Mickey can feel his vision get hazy as he struggles to keep his arms up in a defensive position.

Thankfully the bell sounds and Mickey gets up and makes his way back to his corner.

“It’s okay Mickey. You’re still in this….”  he hears Iggy say but his attention draws him to the crowd where Ian is sitting, looking right at him. He takes in the red head’s arm cast and leg splint and he remembers why he’s doing what he’s doing.

He shoves his brother off him and stands up. Iggy looks at him confused but then Mickey says, “I’ve got this.”

His eyes take him right back to Ian. He gives him a smirk and a quick wink. Ian smiles back as if he knows what’s about to happen.

Mickey approaches Edgar slowly, seemingly different from his usual brash demeanor. He looks at him, studying him, trying to figure him out. Why would someone like him do what he did to Ian?

Why would someone with so much success stoop so low and almost kill someone just to win? Just then it hit Mickey… None of that mattered.

Whatever his reasons were, Edgar had crossed a line and Mickey needed to show him the error of his ways. Mickey was broken from his thoughts when a left hook connected with his face, sending his body tumbling back.

Even though the hit catches him by surprise, Mickey still manages to block the next punch and land one of his own. Edgar stumbles but lunges again. He isn’t as quick as Mickey and is knocked down by a powerful punch to the head. Mickey quickly climbs on top of him and begins to unleash a series of explosive hits to Edgar’s face.

Once he’s satisfied, he takes Edgar’s arm and twists it to the side. He wraps his legs around Edgar’s chest and pulls back on the arm, dangerously close to breaking it. When he doesn’t get what he wants, he tightens his hold on the arm. Edgar cries out in pain but doesn’t surrender.

“Tap out or I’ll fucking break it!” Mickey growls.

When Edgar refuses, he pulls the arm as far as it will go, effectively snapping it in two. Edgar screams out in pain and the referee rushes over to stop the fight.

Before the referee removes Mickey, he whispers in Edgar’s ear, “An arm for an arm asshole.” Edgar looks at him disbelievingly, just finally realizing that Mickey knew all along what he did.

Mickey never takes his eyes off Edgar as he’s being taken to his corner. There, he waits for the medical staff to tend to Edgar as the announcer begins to speak.

“And the winner of tonight’s fight and new welterweight champion, Mickey “Vicious” Milkovich!”

The crowd roars and Iggy embraces his brother, but there’s only one person he wants in his arms right now. He ignores the cameras and the people talking to him and makes his way down the steps and into the crowd.

Ian is waiting, standing alongside Mandy and the other members of Mickey’s team. He has a simple grin on his face as he looks at Mickey adoringly. When he reaches Ian, Mickey hugs him fiercely, completely forgetting about everyone around them.

Right now, Ian is all that matters. Maybe that’s how it should have been all along but tonight, Ian wasn’t leaving his side.

“I love you,” Ian whispers in Mickey’s ear.

Mickey grins into Ian’s shoulder, never once letting go.

**A few hours later…**

 

After he got cleaned up, Mickey had to go and give his after fight press conference. Considering the kiss he gave Ian at the beginning of the fight, Mickey can only imagine how much fun this was going to be.

“Yo Mick, it’s time man, c’mon,” Iggy says, walking toward them.

“Go on Mickey, I’ll wait here,” Ian states motioning to the locker room.

Mickey just scowls at Ian.

“You still don’t get it do you?” he asks the red head.

Ian looks confused but then feels Mickey’s hand tug at him, asking him silently to follow him into the press conference. Ian follows reluctantly, still not used to this kind of public attention from Mickey.

They take their seats as Mickey is announced to the room. He insists that Ian sit next to him since his father isn’t there to take the “manager” chair. Ian is nervous to say the least. The room is full of cameras and reporters waiting to ask about the two of them. He prays they don’t direct any questions at him.

“Mickey,” the first reporter starts, “Great fight! But I have to ask, what was up with that kiss at the beginning?”

Mickey just smiles and looks at Ian.

“I was just kissing my boyfriend for good luck, next question,” he explains.

This of course causes an uproar as the reporters try to talk over each other to get clarification.

“What do you mean by that?” one asks.

“Are you saying you’re gay?” asks another.

Mickey quickly tires of the questions and leans over, placing his hand on the back of Ian’s neck. He brings him closer and kisses him hard, just like before except maybe he adds a little tongue this time. Much to the delight of the red head.

Mickey turns back to the crowd and asks, “Anymore questions?” There is yet another uproar. Mickey simply rolls his eyes but smiles at Ian.

By now it was obvious to Ian that Mickey was not only with him but that he didn’t care who knew. He didn’t care if the whole world knew, as long as he had Ian. For the first time in his life, Mickey had chosen Ian over anyone or anything else.

Mickey had been fighting his whole life and he was tired. He wanted to stop pretending and to finally be himself. It didn’t matter if people didn’t like the fact that he was a gay MMA fighter. He had just defeated one of the best fighters in the game and he was the new welterweight champion. They couldn’t take that away from him.

So Mickey sat through the press conference and answered every question because in that moment, all he could think about was how close he came to losing Ian. That’s when he realized it…

He had already won the fight of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will more than likely be an epilogue but please have patience as I am currently working on three projects.


End file.
